Time
by dullahan21
Summary: Hiyori has cancer, and has stopped responding to treatment. Shinji and the others try to deal with it in the best ways they can. AU
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMERS: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.**

**NOTES: Won't be a long story. Probably 15-20 chapters. I had the idea in my head for a Shinji and Hiyori story, and cancer seemed like it fit. Not just because of the challenge of all the research that will go into this, but also because of the difficulty with the emotional impact.**

**And if you're one of those who hates this pairing but you're for some reason reading anyway...please, no rude comments. it's not necessary.  
**

* * *

The apartment was too quiet. Usually it was loud and alive with talking, laughing, and playful bickering. Lisa shared her manga with Rose and Love. Mashiro complained about one thing or another while Kensei told her to shut the hell up. Hachi organized upcoming lessons for his medical class at the high school. The Hirako-Sarugaki household was a nice place to just hang out and relax with old high school and college friends.

Now it was silent. So silent one could hear a paper clip drop on the carpet.

It wasn't what Shinji Hirako was used to. He lived a chaotic but good life. He was surrounded by noisy, impatient, and violent people. He wouldn't have it any other way, though, no matter how many arguments and fights he got into with his friends and associates.

That, of course, included Hiyori Sarugaki.

She was his worst enemy, and also his best friend.

Nowadays his lover.

Even with all that love, however, they never missed a chance to bully each other. He still took every opportunity to insult her, and she responded the same way she always had: slapping him in the face with one of her shoes, kicking him to the ground, pummeling him with her tiny fists. That was one thing that hadn't changed.

Until recently, that is.

* * *

The glare of the bright morning sun breaking through the window woke Shinji from his peaceful sleep.

The first thing he noticed as his vision cleared was that the curtains were pinned against the wall instead of concealing the window as they usually were. He remembered letting them hang loose last night to block out the full moon's illumination. He and Hiyori both needed complete darkness to sleep.

Second was that he was too warm. All the blankets and the sheets and the comforter were piled on top of him, trapping his body heat. He sat up and pushed them to the foot of the bed; a surge of cool air rushed against his bare chest.

The third was that the other side of the bed was empty. Shinji looked to see that Hiyori was gone. He reached out to feel that the sheets and the pillow were still warm; she'd probably just gotten up a few minutes ago.

He had plenty of reason to worry though.

He stood and stretched, popping the bones in his back, and crossed the room to the closet. There, he pulled on one of his usual shirts, but didn't bother fastening the buttons. After letting out a yawn, he proceeded to look for Hiyori.

It didn't take him long at all to find her.

As he walked down the hall on his way to the living room, he heard a strange sound coming from the bathroom. He knew instantly what it was, and it alarmed him. Sure enough, he opened the door to find Hiyori on her knees, leaning over the toilet, ejecting whatever was in her stomach.

Shinji moved to her side. Her hair was still free and messy from sleep; he gathered the blonde locks in his hands and pulled it out of her face. There wasn't anything else he could do for her but be there and wait it out with her.

A few minutes later, Hiyori finally seemed to be finished. She took a deep breath and pulled down the lever to flush the toilet. As the water swirled into the drains, Shinji thought he saw blood mixed in with the contents of her stomach.

This thought was interrupted by Hiyori snapping, "Shinji, dammit, let go of me."

He released her hair. "Sorry."

Hiyori sighed and sat down, crossing her legs and pressing her fingers against her forehead. Shinji gave her her space; if he showed too much concern, she'd just lash out at him.

Which he would probably prefer.

When she stood to leave the bathroom, Shinji did the same and followed her to the kitchen. She took a glass from the wall cabinet, filled it with water, and rinsed the foul taste out of her mouth. Once she had taken care of that, she pulled out a pan from the dishwasher, intending to make breakfast.

Shinji watched her for a moment, then stepped forward and attempted to take the pan from her. She kept her grip on the handle as Shinji said, "Sit down and rest. I'll take care of this."

Hiyori glared at him. "I can do it myself."

"I'm sure you can," Shinji said uncertainly. "But you should still rest instead of standing around cooking. It'll make you lightheaded, maybe faint."

"Shinji-" she started in a warning tone.

There was no doubt in his mind that she could still kick his ass if she wanted to, no matter how ill she was. He didn't back down though. He held her angry stare, refused to let go of the pan.

Hiyori took another deep breath to calm her rising temper. It wasn't something she usually did, but she'd learned what stress could do to a person, especially an unhealthy one. "Look Shinji. I may be sick, but I'm not helpless. So stop acting like I am. We don't want a repeat of the old days, do we?"

She smirked at her last sentence.

An image of Hiyori leaping out of a random classroom and kicking Shinji in the face, an act that had gotten her suspended innumerable times, came to his mind.

To tell the truth, with the way things were now, he'd give anything to have those days back.

He sighed in defeat and released his hold on the pan. "Thank you, baldy," she said.

"Yeah, whatever," he said dismissively, as he went about helping her with the meal.

"Honestly, Shinji," she said scornfully. "You're too protective these days. It gets annoying, you know."

"I don't know, actually," he said. "Can you really blame me for being like that?"

She didn't answer. She knew he was right. He acted that way for a reason. She just had to live with it.

* * *

"How is she?" Lisa asked, closing the magazine she'd been skimming through.

"She got a little snappy this morning," Shinji answered, his chin resting on his hand. "I'd say she's not quite ready to kick the bucket yet."

"Shinji, watch your mouth!" Mashiro cried angrily.

Shinji had gone to work that day. He'd wanted to stay home with Hiyori to look after her, but she'd punched him in the stomach and told him to go.

The jab hadn't hurt. Shinji acted like it did to please Hiyori. She'd probably seen straight through it.

Now he was on his lunch break, sitting at an outdoor table at a soup restaurant down the street from the workplace with Lisa and Mashiro.

"Just a joke, Mashiro," Shinji said.

"Well, it wasn't funny at all," the green-haired girl replied.

"Now give me a serious answer, asshole," Lisa demanded.

Shinji shrugged. "She's okay, I guess. She got sick this morning, then she was cooking a little while later."

"And you let her?" Mashiro argued. "Shinji, she's supposed to be resting!"

"I know," Shinji said impatiently. "I don't need you to-"

"She doesn't need to be moving about risking passing out or getting sick!" Mashiro continued.

Shinji felt something inside him snap.

"You think I didn't try to tell her that? This is Hiyori we're talking about. She's too damn stubborn to listen to anything anyone has to say, even me. She sets her mind to something, and there's no stopping her. And what the hell is she supposed to do, lay around all day doing nothing? I think she'd rather die than live her life that meaningless."

Neither Lisa nor Mashiro replied, unsure of what to say to Shinji's outburst. Mashiro felt like slapping herself; Lisa wished she'd chosen her words more carefully.

Shinji gazed off into space, thinking over his own words. He really didn't like burdening other people with his personal life. Luckily he didn't often have to face this problem; nearly everyone he met saw only his flippant attitude and thought of him as having no difficulties to deal with.

How very wrong they were.

He hated when people judged by appearance.

Still it was nice of Lisa and Mashiro to listen. They'd been his friends since middle school. He hoped he hadn't blown everything up by his comments about Hiyori. He couldn't take it back.

"How are you holding up, Shinji?" Lisa suddenly asked.

Good question.

He really wasn't sure. There were times he and Hiyori were their usual selves, his barbs at her quick as lightning and her physical abuse matching his verbal perfectly. Those were the better days, when Hirako and Sarugaki could act as they had throughout their school years.

Then Hiyori became sick just before she, Shinji, Lisa, and Mashiro graduated high school.

She ran a fever, she was often fatigued, she bruised easily, her lymph nodes swelled, and she always seemed to be aching.

After an examination, doctors directed her to the hospital.

There, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

She underwent chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and biological therapy. She refused to sign up for the organ donor list. All the treatment left her exhausted, moody, and murderous.

It seemed the oncologists didn't catch it in time, or something along those lines, Shinji couldn't be sure. Hiyori's body eventually just stopped responding to treatment.

Time seemed to stop for not only Shinji and Hiyori, but everyone close to them, including college classmates Rose, Love, Hachi, and Kensei.

Shinji sighed and looked down at his lunch that had barely been touched.

"I just wish I had a way to stop this from ever having happened," he said, just barely loud enough for his companions to hear.

Lisa and Mashiro gazed at him, Lisa's eyes understanding and Mashiro's look sympathetic, as Shinji discarded his lunch and walked back to the workplace to finish the day's assignments.

* * *

Hiyori detested this silence. It was driving her insane. She couldn't take it anymore.

Along with darkness, she needed quiet to sleep. Yet as she lay in bed resting, her hair damp from a shower, an unfinished sandwich on the nightstand, nausea preying on her, she felt that some kind of noise was necessary. So she got up, put in a movie, and returned to bed, burying herself in the covers. She was so cold.

She'd chosen a comedy, an American movie Lisa enjoyed called _Easy A_. She didn't pay much attention to it as it played. Her thoughts were too distracting.

She pondered her confrontation with Shinji this morning. They seemed to be doing a lot of that recently. Once upon a time, their arguments had been more lighthearted and comical. She missed those days.

She hated being sick. She hated hardly being able to hold down food, the constant headaches, the sore muscles. She hated being persistently lethargic, tired, and depressed no matter how much rest she got. She hated the bruises, the pain in her abdomen, the way she was always cold even wrapped up in several blankets or Shinji's arms. It all made her feel weak, ugly, and disgusting.

What she despised most was the way everyone treated her because of the sickness.

She saw the sympathy in their expressions and gazes everytime they turned their faces to her, like they felt sorry for her.

Even her closest friends committed this offense.

The exception was Shinji. He was always there for her, but he never looked at her that way. He wasn't without his faults though. He was too protective, always hovering over her, asking if she was okay, trying to do things for her she could take care of just fine on her own. Deep down, she was grateful for his concern, but it still pissed her off sometimes.

Where would she be without him, though? Probably dealing with all of this alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**thanks to CrimsonWolf999, toshirofan4ever, and hapezibah for the reviews.**

**warning: there's a small part farther down in the chapter that describes a different side of shinji and hiyori's relationship. not graphic, but you can skim through it or just skip it if you want.**

* * *

Shinji couldn't sleep. He didn't know why. The room was dark apart from the glow of the moon and streetlamps outside. It was quiet too, the only noise being that of the wind and Hiyori's labored breathing. Nothing out of the ordinary that would keep him awake.

He gazed down at Hiyori, who was wrapped in his arms. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, a great contrast to how she was awake. He raised a hand from where it had been resting over her waist and moved her hair out of her face. She mumbled something incoherent, but didn't wake.

He wondered what she was dreaming about, what she thought about before she slept. Childhood? High school? Her illness? Him? It was easy for him to tell when she was conflicted, but he never invaded her personal space by interrogating her. He made sure she knew she could talk to him about anything, but he didn't pry; he waited for her to come to him with a problem.

One of his more common thoughts was how she would have handled her illness if he wasn't with her. Would she have sunk into depression after the doctors gave her the news? Caved in under the pressure? Given up and allowed herself to waste away? He didn't know. All he could say for certain was that she'd never have to endure anything alone again. He'd make sure of that.

His hand rested on her neck as he lost himself in sudden memories and musing of Hiyori.

_"What are you doing, dumbass?" Hiyori asked. She watched from next to Shinji as he smoothly drew a brush dipped in red paint down the side of a hand-made volcano, his idea for the project that had been assigned to their eighth grade science class. Shinji had designed his to look like a real mountain; grass, trees, and a river had all been added in. Hiyori hadn't even started on hers yet._

_"What's it look like I'm doing, snaggletooth?" Shinji replied. He didn't pause or glance at her, keeping his focus on his task. He was rather proud of his work; in his opinion, it looked very realistic. He smiled smugly; he knew Hiyori had barely glanced at the rubric sheet they'd been given as a guide for the assignment, much less begun crafting her project. Lazy bum._

_He cursed in pain as she slugged him in the arm at his use of her unwanted nickname. "Don't answer my question with a question, dickhead."_

_"Damn, Hiyori, what's your problem?" he snapped. "That was uncalled for."_

_"The fuck it was! Don't call me that!"_

That was something Shinji had always loved about Hiyori: her mouth. She liked swearing, and she didn't care what anyone thought about it. She enjoyed shooting insults at people who irritated her. They didn't even have to say a word to her. Sometimes just their presence annoyed her.

There were so many girls who cringed at language like that, but Hiyori...to her they were just mere words given a useless offensive label.

_"If you don't stop staring at me and smiling like that, I'm going to knock your fucking teeth out," Hiyori threatened. It was Friday evening; she and Shinji had been dating for several months then, and were going out of town for the weekend together. She'd made it clear she refused to do anything R-rated while they were alone._

_Shinji apparently had other plans. He kept grinning at her from where he sat next to her on the train; she just ignored him, staring out the window across the aisle. She jumped and her eyes widened when a hand suddenly ran up her bare thigh._

_Her expression darkened._

_The next thing Shinji knew, he was on the floor at Hiyori's feet, his nose burning yet not quite bleeding, the smile still on his face. Other passengers gave them strange, dumbstruck, or horrified looks. He didn't do much to fend her off as she continued her assault. "What the hell are you doing touching me like that, you pervert?!"_

Her violent nature and her temper were another reason he was attracted to her. She was a no-nonsense type who didn't take bullshit from anyone, didn't allow anyone to take advantage of her. Those who crossed her paid the price. She was one of the shortest people he knew, possibly the smallest, but he knew that she could beat down men several times her size. He'd seen her do it.

He'd lost count of how many bruises and bloody noses he'd received from her attacks aimed at him. When she got angry at him, her favorite target was either his face (particularly his nose) or his manhood (whenever she was especially livid). She didn't hold back, not even for him.

Most couples worried if their relationships became violent.

With Hiyori, it just seemed to fit.

_Hiyori yawned and stretched as she descended the stairs of the Kuna-Yadomaru flat. She heard an odd sound coming from somewhere in the house, and when she walked into the living room, she saw Mashiro seated on the couch, crying into a pillow. What the hell? Mashiro was a drama queen, but she wasn't known for shedding tears. Hiyori sighed and sat down next to her, crossing her legs._

_"What's wrong with you?" Hiyori asked._

_Mashiro started and turned to her, her face streaked with tears and her hazel eyes red rimmed. She took in a shuddering breath and said, "I just got off the phone with Kensei. He told me he's leaving to go to America for his vacation, and he can't take me with him because it's for work. He said he'll be here later to explain everything in person and hang out before he leaves."_

_Mashiro and Kensei had been friends for years, though Hiyori and Shinji hadn't yet met him. She did know just how much Kensei meant to Mashiro even if, according to her, he didn't quite share her feelings. Mashiro insisted she was fine with that as long as they could remain friends._

_"What am I supposed to do without him?" Mashiro cried, burying her face in the pillow again._

_"Stop being dramatic," Hiyori said, rolling her eyes. "He'll only be gone a few months. It's not like he'll be leaving the country for good. From what you've told me, he wouldn't abandon you for anything."_

_Mashiro brushed her tears away. "You think so?"  
_

_Hiyori shrugged. "I know so, that's why I said it, stupid."_

_Mashiro suddenly grinned and smacked the pillow into Hiyori's face, then laughed as she ran for her life. The blonde cursed and, despite being sick at this point, leaped up to chase her green haired friend through the house, shouting death threats. Neither cared how loud they were being, and kept the noise level up even as Shinji and Lisa emerged from their rooms and shouted at them to sit down and be quiet._

Her unwavering loyalty was another factor. Underneath the violence, the cynicism, and the insults, Hiyori was devoted to the people she cared about. She became angry and belligerent when her friends were bullied or menaced.

She was trustworthy and good at giving advice, too, despite how rude her words often came out. Even when she was at her lowest, she didn't like seeing most others upset.

She comforted Mashiro when Kensei left, and celebrated with her when he came back.

She warned Lisa to take it slow with her boyfriend Shunsui instead of rushing the relationship like she had all the predecessors.

She even helped Orihime Inoue find a way to catch the eye of Ulquiorra Cifer, albeit begrudgingly.

As for Shinji, before they became a couple in tenth grade, she often told him to stop being an idiot womanizer and falling for every pretty girl he met.

Little did she know then that she was his only true love.

_"That dress looks good on you," Lisa said._

_Not a sound could be heard from Hiyori, although he could picture her scowling and crossing her arms._

_"You look so beautiful, Hiyori!" Mashiro exclaimed._

_Still not a word from Hiyori; he could hear the tapping of her shoes as she descended the stairs._

_A bored Shinji looked up from his cellphone at the compliments to see Hiyori walking towards him. His mouth instantly dried. Was he hallucinating, dreaming? He had to blink several times and pinch his arm, not quite believing what he was seeing._

_Hiyori's hair was loose and straightened, drifting over her shoulders. She wore black ballet flats in place of her sandals, and her tomboy attire was replaced by an elegant long-sleeved red dress that fit loosely around her body. He could tell she'd refused to let Lisa and Mashiro get anywhere near her with makeup._

_Not that it mattered, really._

_She did indeed look good. Beautiful._

_She noticed him staring as she approached him, and she snapped, "The hell are you looking at me like that for?"_

_Shinji swallowed. He knew she was going to kill him for this, but he'd always been blunt before. What reason was there to hold back now? He grinned and said what he was thinking anyway._

_"What a wonderful improvement, Monkey. You actually look like a girl. You know, desirable. I like what I see."_

_Hiyori stood frozen for a moment, letting Shinji's words sink in. He knew she'd expected him to insult her, not give her a compliment. He also knew right away that she was annoyed._

_He waited for her reaction, knowing what was coming to him. Sure enough, her eyes narrowed, and her hands curled into fists. She crossed the room in only a second and punched him in the nose._

_He should have known he wouldn't get it any easier just because he was her boyfriend._

_"Hiyori!" Mashiro cried. "Don't treat your date like that!"_

_Hiyori ignored her, grabbing Shinji by the hair with one hand and the front of his shirt with the other. "What do you mean, saying things like that, you stupid lewd?"_

_"Ah, Hiyori, that's not nice!" Shinji said. He was still smiling, and doing little to push her away, his hands only wrapped around her wrists to hold back her blows._

He always knew just how to push her buttons, what to do and say to get a rise out of her. While most people skirted around her in fear, Shinji took any opening to throw a quick insult at her. He wasn't afraid of her, no matter how much she beat him.

They'd been playing this game since childhood, when Shinji first teased her about her fang.

He did admit he was one to talk. He had too many teeth.

_Shinji could easily tell that Hiyori was embarrassed. Now whether it was because of the fact that he was seeing her naked for the first time, or that she blushing uncontrollably as his hands wandered over her body, he couldn't be sure._

_He'd seen her without clothes, of course, but only as far as swimsuits._

_She'd never been fully exposed to him before._

_It was an issue they'd debated often prior to this moment, and spent a while discussing it before going through with it. He wanted it but didn't want to pressure her and make it seem like it was the sole reason he was with her, because it wasn't. She wanted it as well, but wasn't sure if she'd rather wait for marriage as she'd always intended, or just get it over with._

_He and Hiyori were in love, though, and wanted to give their all to each other._

_She shivered as his lips met her neck and his hand kneaded her breasts. He had a bit more experience than she did, but she didn't seem to be sure of what to do. One of her arms was wrapped around his neck, the other around his shoulders, her fingers tangled in his hair and digging into his back. She gasped and her body tensed when his hand traveled lower between her legs._

_Her reaction worried him a little, so, trying to comfort her, he whispered in her ear in a soothing tone, "Just relax."_

_She couldn't help the gasps and moans that escaped her mouth. This was so much different from anything she'd ever felt, like the fighting. The combination of Shinji kissing her neck, her face, her collarbone, her chest, his hands touching places she never thought they would, and her own nerves gave her a weird sort of high. He was sure Lisa had told her things about this (some of it she probably hadn't wanted to hear), but to actually experience it was completely new for her._

_Eventually, Shinji moved his body to align it with hers. As her legs pressed against his hips, he was suddenly hesitant to take her. He glanced down at their bodies pressed together, noticing just how small she was compared to him. She herself didn't seem uncomfortable, only nervous, and he took that as a small reassurance. He told her to take a deep breath; she did so, and clung to him as he slowly pushed inside her._

_Her first thought was that all the first time rumors weren't true; it really didn't hurt, the worst she could say was that it was a bit uncomfortable for a while. That could just be because it was Shinji she was doing this with, every couple was different. Shinji was neither rough nor gentle, moving at a steady pace so that she could adjust to the new feeling._

_Though his hands roamed, his fingertips gliding over her skin, hers mostly stayed in place around his back and in his hair. At one point, her grip slackened and her hand trailed down his back, then returned to his shoulders once she grazed his hips, not wanting to go any lower. Eventually they both reached their limit; he kissed her lips, her forehead, then his body moved off hers and he collapsed next to her. Their breathing was heavy as she moved closer to him and he took her in his arms._

_"Not bad, snaggletooth," he teased. He realized what he had said a second later; he stiffened, expecting to be punched._

_"Shut up, pervert," she mumbled. She was too tired to attack him, already giving in to sleep._

She had never admitted it aloud before, but Hiyori treasured specific events in her life, just as she cherished being alive. Her moody demeanor countered this, but she never wasted a moment. Anything she did had some degree of meaning for her. That night with Shinji stood out as one of her favorites. She'd hesitated for years to take that step with him, but once they were both sure of their feelings, she no longer felt any need to hold back.

He noticed that she was unusually happy the next day. Not dangerous, someone's-going-to-get-it happy, but genuinely content. She kept her aggressive conduct, but not even being interrogated by curious Lisa and nosy Mashiro the morning after seemed to be able to ruin her mood.

He didn't think anything could until he decided to ask her how good he was. It earned him the thousandth-something beating and a stream of insults.

_Hiyori hated hospitals. They were too clean, too sterile, too...discomfited. There were terminally sick people, mortally injured people, disabled people, the elderly, children who would never live the lives they wanted due to their handicaps. She kept her eyesight to the floor, but she knew they were there. Walls kept it out of sight, but she also knew that, behind closed doors, there were people taking their last breaths. It all gave her a rare melancholy feeling._

_Shinji must have noticed her uneasiness; he took her hand in his, entwining their fingers together. Until then, she hadn't realized that she was shaking a little. Shinji squeezed her hand consolingly and said softly, "It'll be fine, Hiyori. I'm here if you freak out and need to hit something, okay?"_

_She didn't answer. She couldn't think straight for a rude reply, and she wasn't in any mood to start an argument from one of her barbs either. She just sighed and leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Shinji stroked her hand with his thumb as she slipped into a half-conscious doze._

_It wasn't much longer before the waiting room door opened and a doctor stepped in, a manila folder in hand. Hiyori lifted her head when Shinji said her name. They watched as the doctor, a woman taller than Hiyori but shorter than Shinji, with a soft face and long black hair tied into a braid, pulled up a chair in front of them. She smiled warmly and, as she shook their hands, said, "Mr. Hirako, Miss Sarugaki. I'm Dr. Unohana. How are you?"_

_"We're fine," Shinji said. "And you?"_

_"I'm good, thank you," she said. She opened the folder and pulled out a document, then jumped to the reason they were gathered. "Miss Sarugaki, we've looked over your blood tests. There could have been an error somewhere, but we've gone over it several times to make sure, and there didn't seem to be anything we missed."_

_So far, this doctor was okay by Hiyori. She clearly wasn't the type to tell her patients what they wanted to hear, giving them the truth instead, yet she told it gently instead of bluntly. Hiyori was afraid of the report that would be given to her, but Unohana's attitude, and Shinji's hand in hers, helped to calm her a little._

_"What did they say?" Shinji asked when Hiyori didn't say anything._

_Dr. Unohana glanced over the paper. "I don't know how rehearsed either of you are in medical terms, but Miss Sarugaki, your lymphoblast count is unusually high. Because of this, your erythrocytes and leukocytes, or red and white blood cells, have malfunctioned. So have your platelets. We haven't yet determined if this was caused by a family history or an effect of some sort of chemical reaction, but we're still looking into it."_

_Hiyori spoke for the first time, her voice soft from exhaustion and fear. "What does that mean? What do I have?"_

_Dr. Unohana sighed. "Miss Sarugaki, I'll need to perform a few more tests to confirm this, but from what I've gathered, it appears that you have what is called acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I'm sorry."_

_Shinji could feel his stomach turning as he and Hiyori followed Dr. Unohana to another part of the hospital. He couldn't get the word 'leukemia' out of his head. Hiyori couldn't have it, it was a mistake. It had to be. He wasn't a religious person, but he silently prayed to any existing God that there was a fault in the tests, and that Hiyori had something much less lethal than what had been suspected._

_Hiyori was shaking as she walked next to him, though she did well to keep her composure. Her grasp on his hand was tight enough to cut off the circulation, maybe bruise. He didn't let it bother him. It was nothing compared to what she was about to go through._

_It began with a bone marrow examination; Dr. Unohana explained this would be the proof of ALL. First was the aspirate, then the biopsy. Lucky for Hiyori, it didn't take long and she hardly felt a thing._

_The lumbar puncture was next, to determine if her spinal cord and brain were infected. He didn't know if it was because of the injecting of the numbing medicine or the actual procedure, but this one Hiyori felt, and was when the tears came._

_The doctors also performed techniques known as pathological examination, immunophenotyping, and cytogenetics to establish whether myeloblastic or lymphoblastic cells were the source of the problem. __RNA testing was executed to test the aggression of the disease. An __ultrasound and CT scanning were carried out to detect invasion of other organs, including her liver, spleen, lymph nodes, and kidneys._

_"Deep breaths," he kept reminding her. She had a death grip on his hand the entire time, but he still didn't complain. As difficult as it was for him to witness, he knew it was ten times more painful for her. Hiyori was tough, though; endless tears coursed down her face from the hurt and distress, but she never once cried out or screamed._

_After it all, she lay in a separate hospital bed recovering. She ached all over, but Shinji's arm around her didn't put much pressure as he lay next to her. Her head rested against his chest as she took Dr. Unohana's advice and tried to sleep._

_Shinji, however, didn't have a hope of doing the same._

_He'd never seen Hiyori cry, ever. Not when she fell from a tree and broke her arm at age seven. Not when her neighbor's dog bit her when she was ten and she had to get stitches. Not when classmates teased her about her fang. Never._

_She had to have truly been in pain to shed tears. Not only by the sting of the medicine and needles, but by the prospect of having leukemia. Just as she didn't cry, Hiyori didn't scare easily. The look in her eyes as the doctor took her blood...he wanted to banish it from his mind._

_Dr. Unohana eventually returned. Hiyori was asleep by then, while Shinji lay awake, lost in his thoughts. At first glance when Unohana walked in, he knew what was coming by the look on her face, but he still hoped for the best._

_"Mr. Hirako, let's talk in the hallway," she said, disappearing out the door as quickly as she had entered._

_Shinji eased out of the bed, careful not to wake Hiyori, and joined Unohana outside the room, softly shutting the door behind him. "What is it?" he asked._

_Dr. Unohana looked up at him sadly. Despite how many patients she dealt with daily, Shinji could guess it was still hard for her to deliver negative news. She sighed and gave him the verdict._

_"Mr. Hirako, I have good and bad news for Miss Sarugaki. Which do you want first?"_

The good news: Hiyori was given a survival chance with treatment, including chemotherapy and radiation therapy.

The bad news: she was confirmed to have acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and her luck eventually ran out when treatment gave up on her.

He told Hiyori her diagnosis when she woke, and took her home the next day. She didn't take it particularly well, but somehow accepted it, and made appointments with Dr. Unohana for treatment. She wasn't ready to give Lisa and Mashiro the news right away, waiting until a few weeks before they finished high school to tell them.

Lisa demanded to know why she wasn't told as soon as they knew, but otherwise promised Hiyori she'd be around as always if she was needed.

Mashiro burst into tears and pulled Hiyori into a hug, which pissed Hiyori off, so Mashiro gave the rest of her reaction at arm's length.

After graduating, the couple found a house together. Alongside Lisa and Mashiro, they applied to the same college, where they met Rose, Love, Hachi, and finally Kensei. Hiyori made it through to earning her bachelor's degree without any major events concerning her sickness happening.

Now here they were today. Shinji found work for a man named Kisuke Urahara, and brought in most of their income. Hiyori was by now usually too sick for most jobs after treatment failed her; she was fired from her first after awhile, but quickly found an online business that didn't often require her to leave the house.

Which was convenient for her, as the sickness had drained most of her energy over the years.

He watched her as she slept, the moonlight illuminating her face. She was so still apart from the rise and fall of her chest. She was stretched out next to him, her legs tangled with his, her expression relaxed, her breathing strained but even, her hair covering her face again. Peaceful. It was nice seeing her like this.

He gently ran his fingers through her hair, careful not to pull it. The chemo and radiation had temporarily taken it, but it had of course grown back since then. He remembered how miserable she had been when it had first fallen out; tomboy or not, Hiyori was still a girl, and her hair was precious to her.

Even wearing a wig, she'd still been self-conscious about it, like the world was staring, pointing, and laughing at her.

It didn't seem to matter how often Shinji told her she was still beautiful to him.

_A week passed by after Hiyori was given her diagnosis. During that time, she seemed to be in some sort of shock. She hardly spoke, barely ate, and refrained from attacking anyone, including Shinji. Most of all, she avoided the topic of her illness._

_Shinji didn't push her, but he tried to help her as much as he could. He talked to her when she zoned out into blank space. He made sure she ate enough to stay on her feet. He held back his teasing. Most of all, he kept any conversation away from the subject of her illness._

_It took a week after she came home from the hospital for Hiyori to finally acknowledge what had happened._

_The couple were lying in bed. Shinji played with Hiyori's hair, running it through his fingers. She ignored it, but he knew she was still awake, because she moved every few minutes to get comfortable. She was motionless when she was asleep._

_"Shinji?" Hiyori suddenly spoke up. Her voice was low from lack of use, the opposite of her usual rough tone._

_"Yeah, Hiyori?" he said. He stopped playing with her hair, resting his hand on her shoulder._

_She hesitated, not meeting his eyes. "What's going to happen to me?"_

_Shinji waited a moment to answer; she was clearly more frightened of this than he first thought, so he didn't want to say the wrong thing and further upset her. "I don't know. The doctors will figure everything out. You don't have anything to worry about."_

_She was silent for a little while. She reached up, took his hand in hers, and squeezed. "Shinji, I'm scared."_

_He gripped her hand back and kissed her forehead. "I am too, but I'm here for you. I won't let anything happen to you."_

_He couldn't one percent promise that to her, though. He could only protect her from so much. He knew Hiyori was thinking the same thing, even as she fell silent again, whatever thought was in her head kept to herself._

_He was just about to succumb to sleep when Hiyori spoke again._

_"Shinji?" she said. She sounded so tired._

_He held back a yawn, forced his eyes open. "Yeah?"_

_She wavered again, tightening her grip on his hand. She took a shaky breath. Then she asked a question Shinji wished she hadn't. "Am I going to die?"_

_Of course she was going to die, everyone was, but he knew exactly what she meant. He couldn't lie to her, he knew Hiyori hate when people sugar-coated things, no matter how bad it was. She preferred the cold, hard truth. He sighed and pulled her closer to him. "I don't know, Hiyori. I can't say. Don't think too much about it right now, it's not good for you. Try to sleep."_

_She didn't answer, just wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest._

_Silence took over again. Shinji tried to sleep, but Hiyori's words kept running through his head. He knew she would have never acted this way around or said such things to anyone but him. Anxious, panicked, distraught, voicing her concerns freely. Not even Lisa or Mashiro had ever seen her in this state. He was relieved that she seemed to have finally fallen asleep, maybe a bit of rest would help to clear her head..._

_"Shinji, are you still awake?"_

_Or not. He suppressed a sigh, but didn't hold back the yawn this time. "Yeah. What's up?"_

_She didn't say anything for several moments. He was starting to wonder if she'd really spoken at all when he heard her voice again._

_"I need to tell you something. Something important, that you'll need to remember."_

_Honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. Hiyori pulled away from him to look him in the eye. Her expression was impossible to read. She made a move she usually didn't without Shinji acting first, reaching up to touch his face._

_Then for a brief moment, Hiyori was Hiyori: blunt, snappy, her eyes blazing, as she said, "Listen, Shinji. If this thing takes me, I don't want you getting depressed and mopey after I'm gone. I want you to keep your baldy head up and move on with your life. If I make it through, even better."_

Surprisingly, recalling those words today made it just the tiniest bit easier to bear with the fact that she was dying, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

* * *

**_This chapter partly inspired by the ShinjiHiyori fanfics of author Chesxca._**

**_And sorry if I made anyone feel awkward. I tried not to make it too descriptive._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to hannah zymhc, EchoingBreeze, and hapezibah for the reviews.**

* * *

Shinji adjusted his cap and buried his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he left his office. He was greeted by several people on his way to his destination, and he gave brisk nods and small smiles in return. He hadn't been himself in years, but he didn't let his personal dilemma bring him down. He still tried to keep the naturally friendly side of his personality out in the open.

He reached his destination after only a minute or two, it wasn't far from his own office. He raised a hand and knocked on the door. A voice from the other side called, "Come in."

The blonde opened the door to see his boss Kisuke Urahara seated behind his desk, talking animatedly on the phone, laughing and waving his hand about. He was reclined in a lazy position, leaning back in his chair with his feet propped up. He glanced up and motioned for Shinji to take a chair, and he did so after shutting the door.

Shinji waited patiently as Kisuke quickly finished his conversation, then set down the phone. He straightened in his chair with a stretch and an exaggerated yawn and looked seriously at his visitor.

"Shinji, good afternoon," he said. "How are you?"

"Not bad," Shinji shrugged. "You needed to speak to me about something?"

"I did," Kisuke said, getting comfortable again. "It's actually more of a few questions than a report of any sort, unlike the usual."

"What's your question?" Shinji asked. As he said this, a sudden wave of fatigue washed over him. He dragged a hand over his face, rubbing the drowsiness from his eyes. He knew this wasn't a professional move, but he and Kisuke knew each other well enough to be past any kind of formality. It didn't seem to bother his boss anyway.

"How long have you worked here?" Kisuke said, his face concerned, but deciding not to mention Shinji's actions.

Shinji thought back on it. He'd found this job when he was nineteen, in order to take care of Hiyori. She'd refused to ask for or accept help from her family. "About four and a half years."

"Right. How well do you get along with your coworkers?"

"Decently. Most of them are fun, but there's a few who could use an attitude adjustment."

Kisuke smiled. "Who would that be?"

Shinji grinned. "No names, Kisuke. Sorry."

"That's fine," Kisuke said. "Only joking. Now, for the main question: how well do you think you've performed at your job?"

Shinji considered that. He had good attendance, no tardies, clean record. Nothing in his work history to hurt his reputation. It helped that he and his boss were on good terms as well.

He shrugged. "I think I've done well. Always room for improvement for everyone."

Kisuke asked, "Want my personal opinion?"

Shinji said, "Sure." He valued his boss's input.

"I think you've done great," Kisuke said. "Especially considering the circumstances."

Shinji sighed and lowered his eyes, knowing what he was referring to. "Yeah. Thanks."

Kisuke's face was concerned again. "How is she, by the way?"

Shinji looked up at him again. "She's okay. She still works; she has this online job that brings some income. She still has her temper. She still hits me a lot. She takes care of herself, and gets pissed at me if I try to do anything for her. Besides being sick, she's the same as she's always been."

Kisuke waited a moment to respond. He seemed to be in deep thought about something, though Shinji couldn't guess what. As well as he knew Kisuke, his boss was a bit secretive at times. There were still things he had yet to learn about him. Which was why his next words took him by surprise.

"My daughter, she had the same thing."

Shinji's eyes widened. Kisuke and Yoruichi's adopted daughter, Ururu, had had cancer? He never knew this.

"Not ALL. She had something different, called rhabdomyosarcoma. It took some pretty aggressive treatment, but she went into remission, and it hasn't come back yet. She's back to the way she was beforehand; she and Jinta are at each other's throats again. She's lucky."

"I'm happy for you, and Ururu," Shinji said. He really was; Ururu was a shy, but sweet girl. She didn't deserve such a sickness.

"You told me Hiyori didn't respond to treatment, correct?" Kisuke inquired.

"Yes," Shinji confirmed, his voice low. "She hasn't got a lot of time left."

"All the more reason to love her while she's here," Kisuke said. "I had to keep telling myself that when Ururu got sick. Yoruichi, uncle Tessai, and Jinta, too. You never know what the outcome will be. Don't forget that about Hiyori, even if her fate has already been spelled out."

A sort of relaxed silence fell between them. Shinji was somewhat grateful this information had been given to him; it made him feel a little better about Hiyori's predicament.

There was something missing about this meeting, though...

"What was the point of calling me in here again?" Shinji asked.

"I thought it was time to tell you about my daughter," Kisuke answered. "You have a right to know. That, and I'm promoting you."

Shinji stared at him for a few seconds. "You are? Why?"

"One, because my second-in-command is moving," Kisuke explained. "She's getting married, and she and her husband-to-be are moving to Fukushima."

"Interesting," Shinji said flatly.

"Second, and more importantly, you deserve it," Kisuke said. "I've reviewed everyone who works here, and there's no one I want more for the job. It's up to you, though. You can take it or keep the position you have now. I can always find another."

Shinji took a moment to consider. Honestly, he wanted the job. He knew his paycheck would rise, and it would add to his reputation. There would be catches, though. Being the head of this company took enough of Kisuke's time, and there was little difference with the second. He'd have less time for his life outside work, less time with his friends, and Hiyori.

"I'll have to think about it," Shinji finally replied.

"Take your time," Kisuke said. "Today is-", he glanced at the calendar on the wall, "-March 27th. You have until at least October 1st. That's when the newlyweds are leaving."

"That's plenty of time," Shinji said. "Thanks, Kisuke."

"No problem," the man addressed said.

* * *

Lisa sighed tiredly as she set two mugs of coffee on the nightstand and sat down on the bed next to Hiyori. "Now that we've got refreshments, tell me what's up."

Hiyori replied bluntly, "You're the one who came over uninvited. You tell me."

As Hiyori had said, Lisa had shown up unexpected to the Hirako-Sarugaki house about half an hour ago. Hiyori had initially told her to go away, saying that she needed to sleep. After a minute or two of arguing, she let Lisa in, reminding herself that she'd been trying to get to sleep most of the day with no success. No harm in hanging out for awhile, then.

"Well, how have you been?" Lisa asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Why aren't you at work?" Hiyori suddenly asked.

"I'm off today," Lisa said. "The boss suspended me for thirty-six hours for eavesdropping on a meeting I wasn't invited to. I'm lucky he's so lenient and didn't fire me, I guess. That's why I'm here and Mashiro isn't. What about you? Why were you sleeping instead of working?"

"I already finished my assignments for the day," Hiyori said. "Believe it or not, I'm not lazy like I was in middle school. Now, I'm tired of talking about me all the time. Why don't you update me on your life?"

Lisa shrugged. "Sure. What do you want to know?"

"Shunsui," Hiyori said, taking her coffee mug in hand but not drinking it. "How's that going?"

Shunsui Kyoraku was one of the professors from the college they'd attended. Although they'd already graduated, Lisa kept in touch with him after taking part in his department, fine arts, for four years. Despite their ten-year age gap, their relationship was developing, promising, thanks to Hiyori's advice to avoid rushing, to take it slow instead.

Lisa sipped her coffee again. "He's good. Busy, but we still make time for each other. I think you'll be glad to know we haven't-"

Hiyori held up a hand in front of Lisa's face. "I don't need to know!"

Lisa smirked. "Come on. You're the one who told me not to. Why the blush, anyway? You and Shinji have already-"

"That does NOT mean I want to discuss it like it's as casual as the weather," Hiyori said irritably, lowering her hand. "Sorry to disappoint you, hussy."

Lisa's ignored the insult as her smirk turned into a smile. "Shunsui and I have a date Friday night and all day Saturday. I'm not sure what he has planned. He likes to surprise me."

Hiyori seemed like she was only half-listening as she stared blankly at her coffee and said absentmindedly, "That's nice."

Lisa frowned. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Hiyori said, setting down her coffee and lying on her back again, her legs hanging over the edge of the bed. "Go on about Shunsui."

"You're not even listening anymore," Lisa said, crossing her legs. "What's wrong?"

Hiyori hesitated; Lisa waited patiently for her to say whatever was on her mind. She knew that, despite the little blonde's notoriously short fuse, not a lot could truly upset her. Which was why when she did mention she needed to talk, Lisa and the others knew to listen.

It took a few moments of silence, but Hiyori eventually spoke.

"Lisa, do you think I'm a bad girlfriend to Shinji?"

She certainly hadn't expected a question like that. "Well...I don't...I'm not sure...what do you mean?" she stammered.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Hiyori-"

The said girl huffed agitatedly. "It's just...I've thought a lot about it these past few years, since the diagnosis. Other people have called me terrible, but I never paid much attention to them before because they weren't anything important to me. Now that I remember all of it, I can't help but wonder...am I as bad as they say I am?"

Lisa took a moment to think it over. She remembered the gossip in the high school halls, the cruel things people had said about Hiyori. One of the more common insults aimed at her was 'bitch'. Not that it bothered Hiyori, and Lisa thought it pathetic that people couldn't be more creative. She also knew for a fact that, while Hiyori disliked many more people than she liked, she wasn't at all hateful, only extremely difficult to get along with.

She recalled how angry Hiyori used to get when Shinji flirted with pretty girls and referred to them all as his 'first loves'. Orihime Inoue, Momo Hinamori, even Lisa Yadomaru were just a few examples. As for Hiyori, she denied it when asked, but Lisa, Mashiro, and other friends knew of her feelings for Shinji; she hid it well, but she was at the happiest point in her life when Shinji finally asked her out, and she learned she was the only girl he honestly loved.

Even after their couple status was spread around the school, their relationship mostly stayed the same. Shinji still purposely annoyed her, Hiyori still used her shoes and fists in retaliation. Yet there was something new, something undefined, that managed to bring them closer. Shinji's barbs seemed less aggravating, and Hiyori's kicks, slaps, and punches seemed less aggressive.

Taking every aspect into consideration, Lisa's answer was no. Hiyori and Shinji were, by definition, dysfunctional, but under the surface, they were just about everything a couple should be: loyal, trusting, supportive, and stable, among other traits.

Not to mention how well he'd taken care of her with her illness.

Lisa smiled. "No, I really don't think so. You're not the perfect girlfriend, but neither am I. Who is? Don't waste time worrying about what other people think."

Hiyori scowled. "It's not other people."

Lisa was confused now. "Then please tell me what on earth has you so vexed."

Hiyori sighed. "I just...this whole thing with being sick, I hate it. Shinji...he doesn't act like he's sorry for me like most people do, apart from being a little overprotective. And he doesn't ignore the fact that I'm sick like he used to, but he tries to do everything for me, like I'm helpless or something."

"I see," Lisa said.

"I feel bad, though," Hiyori said.

"What for?" Lisa asked.

Hiyori's voice took on an underlying melancholy tone. "Because Shinji doesn't seem like he can enjoy his life anymore. He's always tired, and working so hard to pay for my medicine, and he never goes out with his friends. He doesn't smile or joke around as often as he used to. Add in the fact that I'm dying, and-"

"You are not dying," Lisa objected.

"Yes I am, Lisa," Hiyori snapped. "Deny it all you want, but this is my undoing. Hell, I'm lucky to still be alive right now, the type of cancer I have usually acts fast. And the treatment, it's not helping me anymore, it hasn't for almost a year now. This medicine I'm taking is only keeping me alive a bit longer. I've accepted it, all of it, but Shinji...I told him to be prepared for it when we found out...but I don't know how well he's going to handle it when..."

Hiyori stopped; she was shaking a little, but Lisa didn't dare move closer to her to hug her. The only people who could get away with that were Kisuke and Shinji. Anyone else would receive a sandal to the face, a black eye, a bloody nose, or whatever she was in the mood for.

She'd never seen Hiyori like this before. Exposing her emotions, fearful of the consequences, broken down. Was it possible that this illness, and everything that came with it, was making Hiyori lose control of herself?

Hiyori took a deep breath and said, "Shinji, he...he's been so kind to me, even with his occasional teasing. He's been there for me through all this cancer bullshit, paying all my medical expenses, making sure I'm okay. If not for him, I might have given up a long time ago."

"So what's the problem?" Lisa asked. "It sounds like he's being nothing but a gentleman about it. Every girl's dream, you know?"

"I know, I just...I feel like I haven't repayed him at all, like I haven't treated him right in return. Like I've been ungrateful. Why does he allow it? Why does he put up with me like he does?"

Lisa stared at her, disbelieving. "It's obvious, isn't it? He loves you. More than anything."

Her words were met with a blank stare. Lisa was taken aback by the lack of emotion on Hiyori's face. Had she heard a word that had been said? Did she hear herself when she talked?

Hiyori looked away from her, her gaze settling on the ceiling, and sighed. "I feel weird, Lisa. Like I'm empty, or lost something. I don't know why."

Lisa set down her coffee on the nightstand and moved to lie down next to Hiyori. "You're depressed. I get it. Want some advice, though?"

"Please," Hiyori said.

"Don't let it control your life," Lisa said. "Aren't you the one who said to cherish life while you have it?"

Hiyori was quiet for a few seconds before saying softly, "Yeah."

"So do that," Lisa said. "Enjoy what you've got. It could be gone in the blink of an eye. Time flies, especially during the good times, which is exactly why you should treasure it. That's what you always say. And one more thing?"

Hiyori turned to her again. "What's that?"

Lisa shot her friend a serious look. "Don't let anything screw up your relationships. Not with your friends and family, but especially not with Shinji. You've got a good thing with him. It should never go to waste."

Hiyori didn't reply right away. She wasn't sure how she'd allowed this to overwhelm her. Lisa had a point; she needed to live by her own words and appreciate what she had before she lost it, before the cancer took her.

As for the last thing, she couldn't leave her friends, her family, or Shinji, in the dust. They were everything to her.

Hiyori allowed a small smirk to form on her lips as she said, "Tell anyone I said all that and I'll kill you."

Lisa said with a smile, "Wouldn't dream of it."


	4. Chapter 4

**I meant to have this posted this weekend but I had so much homework. I usually try to stay offline during the week, but I'm home sick today, so here it is.**

**thank you to EchoingBreeze, Michiko Burel, and Lexiful Sunshine for the wonderful reviews.**

**Lexiful Sunshine, hopefully I can convert you into the Shiyori fanclub. :) No just kidding, but I do hope you enjoy the rest of the story.**

* * *

_When Shinji awoke, he could hear the rain tapping against the window as he stretched, momentarily forgetting that there was another occupant in the bed._

_"Idiot, you woke me up," Hiyori grumbled sleepily, rubbing her head where Shinji had accidentally hit her._

_He turned his body to face her and said, "Sorry, I forgot you were here."_

_Hiyori looked confused, then hurt, then of course angry. She sat up, wide awake now, and snapped, "How the hell could you forget? This isn't just your bed anymore, moron!"_

_They'd only woken up less than five minutes ago and were already bickering? He shouldn't have been surprised since it was an everyday event. He sighed and said, "Don't take it personally, Hiyori. This is our first night in this house, and I'm just not used to sharing a bed."_

_She scoffed. "That's funny, coming from someone who slept with half our graduating class."_

_"You're really bringing that up?" Shinji said, faking hurt. "That's unnecessary, Hiyori. It's all over and done with, in the past. I think it was more like one-fourth, anyway."_

_He meant it as a joke; Hiyori did not look amused. She looked like she wanted to hit him, but she didn't. She gave no reply to what he'd said, settling instead for, "Well, get used to it."_

_With those words, Hiyori curled up to go back to sleep. Shinji knew what that meant: 'This discussion is over, I'll kill you if you keep going, and I might kill you later anyway for waking me up. Asshole.'_

_He smirked and thought, 'Cranky as always. Go figure. She could really use some relaxation.'_

_Hiyori was unprepared as Shinji pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Taken by surprise, she raised a hand to strike him. Upon realizing what he was doing, however, she ended up just wrapping her arm around his bare back, resting her hand on his shoulder. Despite the early morning chill of the bedroom, he was warm, always so warm._

_Shinji was amazed at how quickly her mood could change. She went from annoyed (at her slumber being interrupted) to embarrassed (he could picture the blush spreading over her face) to finally mellow (relaxing in his embrace). It was even better that he was the cause of it. He hugged her closer, her body right up against his._

_They'd been together for several years by then. Just recently, they found their house and moved in, and last night was the first in their new home. As Shinji's bed was bigger, they took it as theirs, while Hiyori's was placed in the second bedroom for guests._

_The trouble now was adjusting to living together. Sure, they'd had sleepovers with friends and slept in the same bed, but being alone in the same house at all hours would, at least for awhile, take quite a bit of work and all their devotion._

_Like the little argument that had just occurred They both knew that it wouldn't be an easy road, and all couples struggled with it, but they were prepared to make the best of it, even Hiyori, whose temper would stay no matter what._

_So Shinji supposed he couldn't call it his bed anymore. Hiyori couldn't claim the one in the guest room hers either. They would be sharing (formerly) his bed now._

_As he pulled Hiyori's shirt over her head and slipped her shorts down her legs, he remembered that they'd actually be sharing everything from now on._

_Honestly, that thought scared him. He'd had plenty of flings and one-night stands before, but he hadn't been serious about any of them. He'd never stayed with one girl for more than a month or two. For the longest time, the idea of commitment never crossed his mind._

_Then came the day he finally gathered the nerve to ask out Hiyori. By then, he'd come to terms with the fact that she was the only girl he could imagine spending his life with. Lisa, Orihime, and Momo had never come anywhere close to that point in his mind. He thought of Lisa as no more than a good friend; all the other girls were only pretty faces he could playfully flirt with. Nothing serious. Nothing long-lasting._

_Yet the thing with Hiyori was, for once, it wasn't just about the physical attraction. He'd known her since their childhood days, and he liked to think he knew her better than she knew herself. He knew what she liked, what she hated, what made her happy, what irritated her, what upset her. He knew the deep, dark side of her, the bright side, the typically normal side that involved her attacking anyone who bothered her. He saw her as more than just a woman with anger issues, and could see straight through her tough-girl demeanor. And as much as Hiyori herself hated to admit it, she couldn't hide a thing from him; he could read her like an open book, and he understood her better than anyone._

_Despite all his previous affairs, he wanted her. As his girl, his lover, hopefully someday his wife._

_He couldn't accurately describe what he'd felt when Hiyori confirmed his suspicions that she felt the same way about him._

_And while he hadn't yet actually said it to her, he loved her, more than anything._

* * *

Over a time period of almost six years, after treatment proved futile, Hiyori's sickness began, and continued, to drag down her health. She kept taking the medicine, but it would only help her for so long (and she wasn't sure how much more time that would be). There were so many precautions she had to take before she left the house that she only did so when absolutely necessary, such as for the occasional business meeting or doctor's appointment.

She mostly suppressed it, but at the back of her mind, she always dreaded that something would happen while she was alone. In the evenings, she watched the clock anxiously for five o' clock, the hour Shinji usually returned from work. Sometimes he was early, other times late. On those latter days, she stayed close to the phone just in case anything happened.

She lived like this every day, but that didn't mean she enjoyed it. She hated being this way. It wasn't like her, acting so careful of everything. But she couldn't do a thing about it, so she tried not to waste too much time stressing over it. All she could do now was enjoy the days she had left.

* * *

Hiyori was in the bedroom watching a movie when she heard the front door open and close.

She didn't have to look outside the room to know it was Shinji. He didn't call out her name to alert her like he used to. She'd asked him why once, and he'd answered that he assumed she was sleeping and wanted to avoid waking her.

She couldn't explain the reason, but those words had hurt her, cut something deep inside her.

She could hear him moving around in the main room, probably about to prepare dinner. He'd think she was sleeping, so he wouldn't come in until after he'd eaten. She stood and turned the television off, then left the bedroom to join him.

He looked surprised to see her as she walked into the kitchen. She glared at him as she took a seat at the table and snapped, "Stop staring, idiot."

He smiled, turned back to the stove, and said, "Sorry, snaggletooth. You're just so beautiful, is all, even when you just got out of bed. I didn't think you'd be awake, either."

He didn't need to glance back to know that she was blushing. He could always make her flush red with little to no effort. "Shut up and cook, baldy. And stop calling me that. It's Hiyori, get it? Hiyori."

He laughed as he started cutting vegetables for soup. "I'll call you what I want, little monkey."

She heaved a tired sigh. "Whatever. Stop talking, already. I'm hungry."

Shinji suddenly crossed the kitchen, took Hiyori's face in his hands, and kissed her softly on the forehead. Hiyori looked too taken aback to be able to react as Shinji pulled away from her and returned to the stove. "Whatever you say, my dear. And it's nice to see you, too."

Hiyori was silent for a moment before saying, "That was unfair, Shinji."

He didn't turn to look at her, but she could picture the smirk on his face, hear the laughter in his voice as he said, "I disagree. I think you liked it."

She didn't argue. She couldn't. It was true. She always liked when Shinji kissed her. It never failed to give her an ecstatic feeling. Not that she would _ever _tell him that.

It didn't take him long to finish making dinner, and they sat next to each other to eat. As they did so, Hiyori thought, 'It's been awhile since we did this, been together like this for longer than a few minutes in the morning and at night.'

They usually didn't speak as they ate, but Hiyori didn't hesitate to break the silence. She finished her dinner, and waited for Shinji to do the same before she said, "I have a question."

He turned to her. "What is it?"

Now she held back, suddenly a little afraid to ask. She was sure Shinji was going to tell her no, it wasn't possible. Then again, he had told her many times that she could ask him anything at anytime, and he'd listen to her and consider before he answered. He had officially promised her, in fact. There was no reason for her to withhold anything.

So she said, "I know it's not really safe for me to go in my condition, but I want to go to the park tomorrow and see the cherry blossoms."

His face stayed the same, but the look in his eyes told her that he was thinking exactly what she knew he would. She could see the conflict and indecision. He stared at her for a moment, then looked away. "I don't know, Hiyori."

She didn't get angry as she usually would, which surprised her. "Why not?"

Shinji's eyes met hers again. "Well, I'd love to take you, but like you said, it's the health risks. What if something happens at the park to trigger some sort of reaction? I don't want you to end up in the hospital again."

Hiyori could feel the impatience begin to emerge inside her. "You worry too much, Shinji."

"It's not that I worry, I just-"

"Yes, you do," she interrupted. "You're worried, and you know it, so don't bother denying it. Listen, Shinji. I'm flattered, really. It's nice that you care, but I'm tired of being locked indoors all the time."

"Hiyori-" Shinji tried to break in.

"Let me finish," Hiyori insisted, and was relieved when Shinji waited for her to continue. Her voice softened a little as she said, "I know what I'm putting myself at risk for, I don't need to be reminded. I just want to go outside, just for a little while. We don't have to be out there all day, just long enough to watch the blossoms bloom. Is that a deal?"

Shinji wanted to argue; she could read him so easily, and she knew he was against this. The petulance slowly ebbed away, replaced by a sense of calm and a bit of guilt. She didn't push him to answer right away, waiting for him to contemplate the matter.

While he mulled it over, she stood and took their plates to the sink. Almost immediately, a wave of fatigue washed over her. She managed to place the plates in the sink before her legs gave out beneath her and she collapsed. A pair of arms caught her before she hit the floor.

Shinji's voice was muffled by the sudden roaring in her ears as he called out to her. "Hiyori!"

She almost fainted. Her vision was so blurry, her head felt fuzzy, and her consciousness was fading. She fought it, keeping her eyes open, focusing in on what was going on around her, her gaze resting on the hazy shape above her. She heard her name several times, but she couldn't find her own voice to answer.

A few confusing moments passed before everything gradually cleared. She looked up into Shinji's distressed face; he had one arm looped around her resting on her back, while the other held up her head.

He seemed to realize she'd gained control of herself, and the panic melted, relief taking its place. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded and sat up slowly. Shinji kept a hand at her back in case she passed out again. "I'm fine. Just got a little lightheaded."

Shinji was quiet for a moment; she knew what he was thinking before he even said it. "This is why I don't want you to go."

Hiyori didn't reply; she wasn't sure what to say to that without offending or crushing Shinji. Wait, what the hell? Since when did she think before she spoke around him? That wasn't right.

No big deal, though, or at least that's what she tried to tell herself. She let Shinji help her to her feet, but managed to return to the bedroom on her own, albeit with Shinji close by her side. She sat down on the bed, her head pounding. Shinji brought her a glass of water and made sure she was comfortable before gathering a pair of pajama pants and leaving her in peace. She could hear him cleaning the kitchen, and a little while later, the shower was turned on.

Hiyori was almost asleep when the bedroom door opened and closed. She was barely aware of Shinji sliding under the blankets next to her, brushing her hair away from her face and kissing her forehead goodnight, wrapping an arm around her and settling down next to her.

She wasn't surprised he had said no. What else could she have expected? He'd said several times that he'd do anything to make her happy (including letting her take any frustration out on him), but at the same time, his fear of her being hospitalized again held him back. There was really no way to escape from that.

Still, she felt trapped and isolated being inside the house for so much time. Between work and their love lives, Lisa and Mashiro came to see Hiyori at least once a week. About two or three times a month, Kisuke, Yoruichi, Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu dropped by. She hardly ever asked anyone to visit, though. Shinji was well aware of this, but as always, he didn't bother her about it.

His voice broke the dead silence, and her thoughts. "I'll think about it, okay?"

She knew what he was referring to. It wasn't quite yes, but it wasn't particularly no either. She was fine with a maybe. "Okay."

"'Night, Hiyori."

"'Night, Shinji."

* * *

She felt something shaking her shoulder, and a voice softly but firmly calling her name. She slowly opened her eyes to see Shinji kneeling down in front of her, fully dressed and looking like he was on a mission.

She covered her mouth as she yawned. "What's going on? Why'd you wake me up?"

Shinji smiled. "Surprise. I took the day off. Get up and get ready. We're going out."

She sat up abruptly, all traces of sleep gone. She tried to keep her voice neutral as she said, "Does that mean...?"

"Yes, it does," Shinji confirmed. "You get to see your cherry blossoms."

* * *

When Shinji and Hiyori arrived at Inokashira Park, the weather was cool for it being April. A light breeze directed the trees to sway back and forth. Grey clouds covered the sky, but Hiyori doubted it would rain. It didn't seem that bad a day to wait for the cherry blossoms to bloom.

She'd taken her precautions before leaving, and now walked hand-in-hand with Shinji to the cluster of blossom trees. Oddly enough, she hardly felt sick at all. Maybe it was because she'd gotten a decent amount of rest last night, or maybe it was just because she was actually spending time with Shinji for the first time since...well, she couldn't really remember when. All she knew for sure was that she was very content right now.

She was glad he had woken her up early; there was already a significant number of people at the park, and she knew there'd be more later. Cherry blossoms were a popular attraction for not only the Japanese, but tourists as well. She and Shinji made their way through the crowd and found a place to stand along the railing next to the Kanda River.

They talked while they waited. They talked about work, their friends, and reminisced about their childhood. They argued over their differing tastes in music, film, and television. They even discussed stupid things, such as what animal they would be, whether or not black, white, and grey were colors, and trading cheesy pick-up lines.

It was a nice feeling, just talking to him. Hiyori had always thought Shinji was an interesting person. It was one of the many things she loved about him. Back in their grade school days, when she'd still been a brat, she'd claimed to not give a damn about anything he had to say; truthfully, she liked hearing him talk. It had been refreshing from all the conformists she'd shared the classrooms with.

Even when his lewd, perverted comments pissed her off, or they had disagreements over nothing, she enjoyed every conversation.

By the time they'd run out of jokes, the crowd looked like it had tripled in size. Viewers of the cherry blossoms were gathered either on land or in boats on the river. There were mostly groups of friends from college, with families, foreigners, and workers on break mixed in.

Despite all the warm bodies bunched around her, a shiver ran up Hiyori's spine, raising goosebumps over her skin. She picked up the blanket they'd brought from where it lay at their feet and drew it around her shoulders.

"You feeling okay?" Shinji asked.

"Yeah," Hiyori said. "A little tired, and cold, but I'm fine."

Shinji kissed the top of her head. "Just let me know."

It was close to the anticipated time now. Hiyori kept a close watch on the trees, hardly even noticing when Shinji wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her head.

Everything was going great today. She didn't have a care in the world right now. She was ahead in her assignments for work, so she didn't have to worry about it until later. She wondered if Shinji was the same, and if Kisuke and his family were here.

Something suddenly came to her mind. "Hey, Shinji. How did you get the day off? Is someone covering for you or something?"

The smirk was obvious in his voice as he said, "I called Kisuke last night after you fell asleep and asked him. He was cool with it after I explained everything, and yes, he asked Sosuke to take my place for the day. You can thank him the next time you see him."

She definitely would.

The couple fell quiet again. Her eyes scanned the trees, on alert for any sign of pink. She hid it well, but it had been years since she'd last gone to watch the cherry blossoms, and she very much looked forward to it. Neither she nor Shinji could every say it, but it was in both of their minds that this could also very well be her last chance to see this.

"Look, Hiyori."

She followed Shinji's gaze to the top branches of the nearest tree. He'd caught sight of it first, a flower just tentatively beginning to unfurl above them. Others noticed this as well; Hiyori watched a mother and father pick up their small children to give them a better view, and an elderly man smiled and hugged his wife closer to him.

Hiyori wasn't the girly type, but even she could say this was such a lovely scene, as the blossoms continued little-by-little to flourish, the bright pink reflecting on the river and brightening the park.

"It's beautiful, Shinji," Hiyori said softly.

He was glad she thought so. Despite having the best intentions for her, he felt somewhat foolish for hesitating to bring her here. And she was right - it certainly was a stunning display.

Hiyori leaned back against him, placing her hands on the arms encircling her, still watching the blossoms. Her voice sounded unusually at peace as she said, "Thank you so much for bringing me here."

Shinji wasn't entranced as Hiyori was; he was just staring down at her, at the barely-there delighted expression on her face, the euphoric light in her eyes. It had been much too long since he'd last seen her so happy.

He burned the image of Hiyori's beautiful, serene face in his memory, to keep it there forever.

* * *

**I think I made it a little too sweet at times but I still love it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**It's been over a month, and I apologize for the lack of an update. School has kept me busy finishing my senior year and preparing for college, as well as some things going on in my family and personal life. The chapters in this story are fairly lengthy, so it's harder to update than my other three fanfics, and it didn't help that I had some trouble with this chapter (originally was too long for my liking, so I had to edit and drastically shorten it). Rest assured, though, this has not been forgotten.**

**thank you SoulreaperRukia1, deadpoolhulk, Newjug, and Michiko Burel for the reviews :)**

* * *

_Lisa considered having a loved one who was terminally ill to be the hardest thing to live with._

_Hiyori's words had been ingrained in her head since that afternoon a few weeks ago. The way she'd spoken about her malady and her acceptance but accompanying disquietude that her days were numbered unnerved Lisa, despite Hiyori's outward confidence. Yet she hadn't liked the look in her friend's eyes, the raw pool of grief. And none of it was for herself, but for another._

_Lisa knew that Hiyori was much more concerned about Shinji. She'd said so herself that it troubled her how he'd cope when she succumbed to the cancer. From Lisa's point of view, he was taking it all in stride. Then again, appearances could be deceiving; he could be falling apart on the inside and she'd never know._

_She was impressed, however, with the way he'd handled everything. He looked exhausted, always weary and pensive, but he maintained a strong front for Hiyori. She'd heard from Kisuke Urahara that Shinji worked harder than his second-in-command, well-deserving of the pay necessary to cover both the bills and Hiyori's medicine. He made quite the effort of keeping himself in character as well, amiable and affable to others around him._

_Hiyori told Lisa the other day that Shinji had taken her to Inokashira Park to see the cherry blossoms. Her voice had been at a tone Lisa couldn't really describe, her current tired pitch, but with an edge of elation. Her facial expression was no different. It was unusual for Hiyori to be in such a good mood, but it was nice nonetheless._

_Later that same night, Shinji called Lisa after Hiyori had gone to sleep._

_"I know I shouldn't have because she's sick, but...I don't know," he said. "She had this look in her eyes when she asked, and it's been so long since the last time she left the house for anything other than work and appointments. And when we got there, she was just so happy. I wish you could have been there to see it all, Lisa."_

_"No, you should have," she replied. "And I'm glad you did. She needs a little fresh air every now and then."_

_"Yeah, I know," he said. "She made it back home okay. Let's keep this between us, though. Mashiro will throw a fit if she finds out."_

_She was more than happy to agree._

"Something on your mind?"

Lisa snapped out of her thoughts and turned her head from where she'd been gazing out the foggy window of the cafe. The weather was dreary and rainy, had been for a week. That hadn't stopped her from going on the date she'd planned with Shunsui.

He was gazing at her with a lazy smile. She thought he looked silly but handsome wearing the sakkat and the flowered kimono over his clothes, with his wavy brown hair tied in its trademark ponytail. She couldn't help but smile back as she said, "It's nothing for you to worry about. I'm fine."

He didn't know about Hiyori. She didn't yet want him to know about Hiyori. Not because she was ashamed to have an ill friend, that wasn't it at all. She just knew she wouldn't be able to take the forced apology people felt was necessary when they heard bad news, or the look of pity that would inevitably appear in his eyes. She'd gotten to know him well over the past few years, but she wasn't sure how he'd react to something like that.

The smile stayed in place, but she could see the doubt in his expression. "It must be something. What else would you be staring off into space for?"

She shook her head and insisted, "Really, it's no big deal. You shouldn't be too concerned about it."

He decided to back off for now; Lisa was fairly calm most of the time, but she was also secretive and became offended if anyone, including him, pried on her thoughts. Trying to appear casual, he yawned and said, "Alright, if you say so. This weather makes me want to take a nap. Are you done?"

Lisa looked down at the half-eaten red bean paste taiyaki on her plate. It was delicious, and she didn't want to waste it. She had very little appetite right now, though. She'd just take it with her and finish it later. After the waiter brought her a to-go box, she and Shunsui paid for their meal and walked out into the grey streets.

The rain had been taking a break for the past hour while the couple ate. Lisa hoped it stayed that way, at least until she and Shunsui made it back to his apartment. She didn't mind the rain, but she also didn't welcome the threat of catching a cold from it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Shunsui asked again. "You're quieter than usual today."

"I told you, I'm fine," Lisa replied, suppressing a sigh. Shunsui still looked concerned, and the air around them seemed to become heavy with sudden tension. In an effort to lighten the mood, she smirked, reached up without warning, stole his sakkat, and placed it on her head.

Shunsui looked slightly startled, but he smiled and said, "Hey now, that's not nice."

She held down the hat with a hand so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. "Well, it's mine now. You'll have to get a new one, and you'd better keep an eye on your kimono. It might be next."

Shunsui laughed and draped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him, the warmth of his body shielding her from the breeze. They walked in silence for awhile, just enjoying the sights (despite the weather) and each other's presence.

The rain hadn't yet returned, but thunder rumbled in the distance, and seemed to be moving closer with each boom. The wind had picked up as well. She hoped they reached Shunsui's apartment in time to escape the approaching precipitation.

She questioned why they had walked to town instead of driven when the weather was like this. Sure, walking was good for you, but she would have felt better in a car. She still couldn't figure out how Shunsui had convinced her to leave her keys on the counter and take the walk with him to the cafe. Oh well. They were here now, and his apartment was now down the street right around the next corner.

Shunsui suddenly chuckled, and Lisa looked up at him curiously. "What's so funny?"

Still laughing, he pointed towards her head. "You are. You look funny in that hat. It's cute."

She smirked. "You should talk. You look dorky with it."

"But so handsome at the same, right?" he asked playfully.

Lisa stretched up to kiss his cheek. "Of course."

Just a few minutes later, they arrived at Shunsui's apartment, where he lived on the first floor. Lisa was thankful for the blast of warm air that rushed at her, and once again clutched the sakkat when a gush of wind threatened to carry it away. Shunsui gestured for her to go inside first, and once she had, he followed, closing the door behind him.

She sifted through Shunsui's film collection as he left the room to fetch blankets and kokoa. He was picky, so there wasn't much to choose from. She'd learned the first time she visited his apartment that he liked foreign films, particularly romantic comedies: Love Actually, Four Christmases, and the Holiday were just to name a few. There were also some of hers that she'd brought over and left behind: Coyote Ugly, I Hate Valentine's Day, and of course her favorite Easy A. She wasn't really in the mood for any of them though, so she chose the remake of the 1960s film Yours Mine and Ours.

When Shunsui returned, Lisa had situated herself on the couch, the movie paused as she waited for him. They didn't speak, but exchanged small smiles as he set the kokoa on the coffee table, took his seat next to her, and wrapped the blanket around them. She settled against him, picked up the remote, and clicked the play button.

As the film resumed, Lisa found it harder and harder to focus. Not because the movie was bad, it was actually kind of cute and funny. Not because the room was dark, making her feel sleepy. Not because she was so close to Shunsui, nestled comfortably against him.

None of this was on her mind. She kept thinking of her closest friend, a short twenty-three-year-old blonde who still wore her hair in pigtails and who had the temper of a toddler. It kept creeping closer and closer to the front of her thoughts that Hiyori's days were diminishing rapidly. It certainly wasn't a thought she appreciated, and she wanted it to disappear, but it wouldn't. It couldn't, no matter how hard she tried to beguile herself.

She should tell Shunsui. He deserved to know. In the time she'd known him, he'd always been there for her for anything. Despite her fears that he'd feel sorry for her and Hiyori, she knew he'd understand, empathetic instead of sympathetic. She didn't see any real reason to withhold it at this point. She doubted Hiyori would care either, she liked Shunsui.

That was it, then. She'd tell him, right now, before she lost her nerve and changed her mind. She wouldn't worry about his reaction until it actually happened. She took a deep breath. "Hey, Shunsui, can we talk for a minute?"

He lowered the volume on the television and turned to look at her. His expression was unreadable, unperturbed by the 'can we talk?' phrase that every couple feared. "What is it?" he asked simply.

She hesitated, listening to the rain while she tried to put her words in order. She'd thought over this for years, and now that the moment was finally here, she didn't want to mess it up. She wanted to make sure she kept calm, but said the right things to give him the facts and also prevent worrying him. She quickly moved around to face him and get more comfortable.

"I know it's been some time since you've seen her, but do you remember Hiyori Sarugaki, my friend from college?"

Shunsui searched his memory, sorting through Lisa's friends and attaching names to faces. "She was the little blonde, right? With the fang and the horrible temper?"

Lisa smiled at his description. "That's her."

"Yeah, I remember," Shunsui said. "What about her?"

"You asked me what was on my mind earlier, and I said it was nothing," Lisa said. "Well...that was a lie. Hiyori is what's bothering me. She's been...sick for awhile."

"What's wrong with her?" Shunsui inquired, his face concerned despite thinking it was something mild.

"It's...something really serious," Lisa explained. "She has leukemia. She's had it since our senior year of high school. She found out just a few months before we graduated. Only Shinji and Hiyori's family knew in the beginning; I didn't know until a few weeks before getting our diplomas. Hiyori said she didn't want to worry the rest of us and distract us from graduating."

Shunsui was silent, unsure of what to say, so Lisa went on. "She didn't respond well to treatment. It seemed like it was working at first, and she'd be healthy again for just a few weeks at a time, a month or two at the most...but she just kept relapsing. Chemo, radiation, blood transfusions, none of it worked. She just...eventually said enough, and stopped trying."

Shunsui still didn't say anything for a moment, contemplating her words. "What about organ transplant. Isn't that an option?"

Lisa shook her head. "It is, but Hiyori didn't want it. She said she didn't want to take another person's body part because they might need it someday. Probably one of the most thoughtful things I've ever heard her say...and that's just not like her."

"Surely there are other ways?" Shunsui suggested.

"There's probably so many," Lisa sighed. "Hiyori was exhausted and fed up with it, though. She felt it was a waste of time and money to go to the hospital over and over again to get a bunch of treatments that weren't even working. She felt they were doing more harm than good. I think Shinji pushed her to keep going anyway, and they've had a few serious arguments about it, but she won't have any of it."

Shunsui remembered Shinji Hirako, who he recalled to be Hiyori's boyfriend and another good friend of Lisa's. He'd never suspected the blonde man (or Hiyori, for that matter) to be going through anything like this. He'd hid it well behind an upbeat attitude, wide smile, and playful bickering with Hiyori.

He asked, "How long?"

Lisa knew what he meant, and she shrugged. "I'm not sure. Last time she asked Unohana - that's her doctor - she said she had...less than a year at the most."

"And how is Hiyori dealing with all of this being thrown at her?"

Lisa thought about that for a moment, judging Hiyori's current mannerisms. "Honestly, she told me herself that she's accepted it, and I believe her. I know she's afraid, but I think she's fully aware of what's going to happen, so she's just...prepared to take it. Everyone else seems ready for it as well, and that's probably thanks to Hiyori's encouragement to just carry on."

She hesitated.

"Well, everyone apart from Shinji. I'm not sure about him. No one is."

"Why's that?"

"Because...he has his moments when he seems okay, trying to stay strong for Hiyori, paying for her medicine to keep her as healthy as possible for as long as possible. Mostly though, I think he's more scared than she is. He's a tough guy, but she's his best friend, and he loves her. She's the most precious thing to him, and the thought of losing her...it just...it just scares the hell out of him."

Shunsui studied Lisa's face; her expression was placid, but her blue eyes were distant, like she'd faded back into her own dimension even as she spoke to him. He wouldn't offer any advice. He knew she didn't want it. Yet he needed to know how she was coping personally, so he asked, "And how is Lisa doing?"

She considered that. She couldn't accurately describe something like that, not in words, it just wasn't possible. She'd do her best, though. "I know it's going to be tough, getting used to life without Hiyori after she's gone. She's been one of my best friends since middle school, and I hate the thought of losing her. I'll adjust, though; I have to, for myself, and for the others."

Shunsui assessed her words. He gazed at her proudly. "That's a good way to look at things."

"Thank you," Lisa said, smiling gratefully and kissing his cheek again.

She leaned against him, and they returned to the movie. She still couldn't fully concentrate, but she managed to follow most of what was happening, keep herself in the present. Due to the conversation that had just taken place, she was glad she'd chosen a comedy.

She'd once asked Shunsui why he liked comedies so much; his answer was, "The world's a sad place. I don't care what scientists and doctors say, laughter really is the best medicine, especially when times are tough. Even if the humor is completely inappropriate, like that movie the Hangover, it's effective in lightening a person's mood."

Even with that random thought running through her head, she felt like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Finally getting her burdens and worries off her chest and revealing everything to Shunsui had taken an enormous amount of stress away.

She was also grateful for his reaction. She hadn't seen any trace of pity or sympathy in his eyes. No shock or freaking out, which was a major relief for her. All she'd noticed was the concern, not only for her, but for her friends as well.

"Thanks again, Shunsui," she repeated. "For listening."

Shunsui smiled and took her hand in his. "Don't mention it, Lisa."

* * *

**Okay so I've written from Shinji and Hiyori's point of view for the first four chapters, so I thought I should put Hiyori's best friend and family in the spotlight, to see what's going on in their lives. Her family will be in the next chapter, but should I write something with Rose, Love, Kensei, Mashiro, and Hachi, or go back on track with Shinji and Hiyori to keep the story moving?**


	6. Chapter 6

**thank you for the reviews from Shimmerbreeze (I'm a Shunsui/Nanao fan too :)) and AniMesXVIII for the reviews.**

**So here are a few scenes from the lives of Hiyori's family, mainly her parents.**

* * *

_The sound of the phone ringing woke Kisuke from his sleep. He yawned, heaved a tired sigh, and reluctantly stood up from the bed where he'd been lying next to his wife Yoruichi. She mumbled and moved around a little, unconsciously throwing her arms over her eyes, but didn't wake._

_He picked up the phone from the receiver. "Hello?"_

_"Kisuke, good morning!" a sprightly voice greeted._

_He recognized the voice, and he thought, 'how could anyone be this cheerful at this hour?' "What are you calling this early for, Kirio?"_

_He already knew the answer before she said a word. "Oh, Kisuke, I have a HUGE favor to ask you!"_

_"What kind of favor?" he asked, glancing over at Yoruichi, who was sitting up watching her husband tiredly, having been woken by the sound of his voice._

_"I've been called away on business again and I have no one to look after Hiyori!" Kirio explained hastily._

_"You need me to take care of her?" Kisuke asked._

_"If it's not too much trouble, yes!"_

_Kisuke suppressed another sigh; it wouldn't be the first time Kirio had asked him and Yoruichi to take in her daughter Hiyori when she went on one of her frequent business trips. He often wondered why she'd gone through the trouble of having a child if she was never around for her. He didn't say this aloud, knowing Kirio would let forth hundreds of excuses he didn't care to hear._

_"Yeah, sure," he said with a yawn. "Bring her over whenever."_

_So she did, arriving with Hiyori about an hour later, by which time Kisuke had told Yoruichi what was going on. The purple-haired woman scoffed irritably and vocalized what Kisuke wouldn't, "Nothing against Hiyori, but why did her mother bother with having a kid if she's too busy to spend any time with her?"_

_Still, she escorted Hiyori to the spare bedroom while Kirio made her quick apologies and left within minutes, leaving her daughter with a hug and a promise to return in a few days._

_Kirio Hikifune was never seen again._

_Despite how much Kirio had said she loved Hiyori, he and Yoruichi both always had the terrible feeling that she had never really wanted a child. Neither had predicted it would end in something this drastic, but they weren't surprised either. Looking back on it today, Kirio had been very clever going about it in a fourteen-year time period, but the clues were always there._

_They adopted Hiyori without hesitation when police were unable to trace Kirio's whereabouts. It was suspected she had left the country, and when her home was investigated, it was discovered that most of her belongings had gone. Kisuke and Yoruichi were granted permission to seize Hiyori's possessions before the house was sold by the district._

_Hiyori was welcomed by the family, including Jinta, who, even at the age of four, was cold to most of the people around him. The room that was usually labeled the "Guest Suite" became Hiyori's permanent space. She took her own time adjusting to her new home, shy at first, but gradually relaxing into her usual short temper and shameless opinions. She eventually started inviting friends over, getting them acquainted with Kisuke, Yoruichi, Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu, the people she now referred to as her family._

_Even after she'd settled in with them, however, she still kept a certain distance; Kisuke knew she'd always grieve for Kirio's departure, possibly even forever hold a grudge against her._

_In whatever way things played out, Kisuke and Yoruichi didn't regret their decision, considered Hiyori their own child, just as they did Jinta and Ururu._

* * *

"Hey Kisuke, can I ask you something?"

"You sure can, Yoruichi!"

Kisuke was in the driver's seat, Yoruichi in the passenger's, on their way home from a night out together. It wasn't something they were able to do very often because of Kisuke's occupation and other circumstances, so they took advantage of it whenever they could. They were tired now, but both had enjoyed their evening of a movie, dinner, dancing, and a concert.

Yoruichi smiled and playfully smacked his head, which didn't have the usual protection of his bucket hat. "It's a serious question."

Kisuke laughed and said, "Okay, okay. I'm listening."

Yoruichi looked thoughtful. "I was just thinking about this a few days ago - and I know it's been years - but...what do you think happened to Kirio?"

Kisuke yawned and shrugged. "I've thought about that hundreds of times. Who knows? Personally, I think she just got tired of the responsibility of being a mother. She knew we wouldn't let her down, so she saw us as a perfect opportunity to get rid of Hiyori. That's okay, though. She's a good kid, even if she got in trouble a lot for fighting in school. Even if she swears as bad as Kenpachi. Even if-"

"Alright, Kisuke, I get it," Yoruichi said, smirking. "My point is, do you think Kirio would come back if she knew Hiyori was sick?"

Kisuke sighed. "I think she'd regret that she was never here for Hiyori, but I don't think she'd come looking for her. If she were to find out, though - and I'll make damn sure she doesn't - I won't let her anywhere near Hiyori. She belongs to us, to Shinji, to her own person. Kirio has nothing over her anymore."

* * *

"How is Shinji?" Yoruichi asked.

"He's fine," Kisuke said. "Hard-working, as always."

"You know what I mean," Yoruichi said.

Kisuke shrugged. "Oh, you know. He's managing. He and Hiyori have talked a few times about the promotion, and she told him he should take it. She's always looking out for him and his best interests even though she's the sick one. I'm hoping she marries him soon."

Yoruichi looked dubious. "Kisuke, I hate to say it, but she's-"

"I know," he said. "Have you ever seen that movie a Walk To Remember? This kid named Landon falls for this girl, Jamie. He finds out she has leukemia, and near the end of the story, he marries her before she dies. I'm not sure if that happens in the book because I haven't read it, but either way, it's romantic."

"It sounds like it," Yoruichi agreed. "Look, I'm sorry to be such a pessimist, Kisuke. I'm just not myself lately."

"None of us are, dear," he said, pulling her into a hug.

* * *

Kisuke and Yoruichi had adopted three children, and as such, had considered having one of their own.

Despite their easygoing personalities, it wasn't something they contemplated lightly. It had been difficult enough raising three who were already past the infant stage at the time of their adoption, but they weren't sure if they were ready for the challenge of a newborn. They felt they were prepared financially, but emotionally and personally was another story.

Yet with Hiyori moved out and making her own living, and Jinta and Ururu growing up and becoming more independent, they were one step closer to having a baby.

"Hey, Yoruichi," Kisuke said in what he hoped was a seductive voice.

"What is it, Kisuke?" she replied, her own voice one-upping his.

Without another word, Kisuke pressed his lips to hers, tangled his fingers in her hair, and slipped the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, letting it fall down her body to her feet.

* * *

Yoruichi sat with Kisuke, Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu in the maternity ward of the hospital. She surveyed the people in the room with them: a pediatrician, a radiologist, and a gynecologist. Judging by their bright faces, she was anxious but not at all worried about the news they'd called the family in to give.

"So what's the news, doctor?" Kisuke asked jovially. "Are we expecting?"

"_You're _not," the radiologist laughed. "Your wife, however, is one month pregnant."

* * *

Yoruichi despised being pregnant.

Sure, there were perks. She received free gifts at the baby shower, there would be another addition to the family, and she'd get to be the mother of a fourth beautiful child. Kisuke and Tessai could say they were a father and an uncle again. Jinta would have a younger sibling to look after and guide through life.

Then there were the cons, and in spite her optimistic trait, she tended to notice the downsides as more significant because of her new mood swings.

The morning sickness was awful. She constantly had to use the restroom, which bothered her the most at night. Her breasts grew bigger than they already were. She had to put on weight she normally worked hard to keep off.

And of course there was Hiyori. Her blonde daughter congratulated her, but Yoruichi didn't miss the envy hidden by the happiness.

She knew Hiyori and Shinji had wanted children after they married.

If only Hiyori hadn't been sick.

Yoruichi looked down at her stomach, and suddenly felt nauceous.

* * *

"Can I touch it?"

Yoruichi looked up from the book she was reading to see Ururu gazing at her, her expression as melancholy as ever. Jinta stood beside her, face cross and arms folded, his typical tough, impatient stance.

She was confused as to what her adopted daughter meant. "What are you talking about, Ururu?"

The black-haired girl pointed toward Yoruichi's abdomen. "Your stomach. Can I touch it?"

Yoruichi smiled. She set the book down next to her, straightened in her seat, and lifted her shirt to just below her breasts. Ururu sat down cross-legged on the floor next to her and reached out to place her hand on Yoruichi's stomach, which was still mostly flat, but was beginning to form a slight bump.

"It's still an embryo," Yoruichi said. "We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet. It won't be kicking right now, but it will be soon."

Ururu pulled her hand away and smiled shyly. Yoruichi looked over at Jinta. "Jinta, do you want to touch it?"

The redhead huffed and rolled his eyes. "No, thanks. That's for girls and Kisuke."

* * *

Alongside all the discomfort, Kisuke and Yoruichi had many personal fears about being pregnant.

What if she miscarried or the baby was born prematurely?

What is there were irreversible birth defects?

What if there were complications during labor? What if she or the baby didn't survive?

What would be the effect on their marriage? Would it bring their already close relationship closer, or add so much stress they were driven into divorce?

Would there be sibling rivalry? Would she, Kisuke, and Tessai unintentionally give more attention to the baby than Jinta and Ururu?

Would they be able to raise their baby correctly? Would they teach him or her to have morals and be successful in life?

How would they endure the launching stage, despite it being a fourth occurrence, when the baby was grown and ready to leave?

Would their children, including the baby, outlive she, Kisuke, and Tessai?

Would Hiyori still be alive to see the baby when it arrived?

Would the baby ever truly understand what had happened to Hiyori?

So many questions Kisuke and Yoruichi did not know the answers to.

* * *

"Kisuke, I have a question."

"Serious question?"

"Yeah. Really serious."

"I'm listening."

The temperature had dropped, but the weather was still decent. The sun was almost out of sight; on the west horizon was a beautiful sunset, the sky an array of red, orange, and gold. Perfect conditions for Kisuke and Yoruichi to place down blankets on the hill near their house and lie down just staring up at the sky absentmindedly.

Yoruichi took a deep breath. "You think Hiyori will still be here when the baby is born?"

Kisuke hesitated. He moved onto his side and placed a hand on his wife's stomach. "You want me to answer that honestly?"

"Of course," Yoruichi said.

Kisuke closed his eyes and sighed. "No. I don't."

Yoruichi didn't respond.

* * *

**I don't know how well I wrote out Kirio Hikifune. I've read about her character online, and I know about her relationship with Hiyori, but I haven't gotten to the chapter when she first appears.**

**The part of the story in italics is inspired by the Japanese film "Nobody Knows". If you're into more serious movies, I recommend it to you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**thank you deadpoolhulk, Shimmerbreeze, Newjug, and AniMesXVIII for the reviews. Newjug, I love your predictions in your comments; you'll just have to wait and see :)**

**AniMesXVIII: I didn't even realize myself that it's like a Walk To Remember until I was helping to shelve books in the library last week and I saw the book with some other Nicholas Sparks' novels. It's been awhile since I've read it, but I've seen the movie several times and I thought, 'This is really similar to my Bleach story.' Coincidence, indeed :) Sorry about Hikifune. Like I said, I'm not sure how well I wrote her.**

**Some of you have mentioned in your reviews that this story is sad/depressing. Which it's meant to be, nothing wrong with pointing it out, but if you need a comedy fix at some point (and trust me, you probably will), here's some humorous stories I recommend if you ever get time to read them: **

**Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors by Sariniste**

**Interview! Bleach Pairings by Rukia141**

**the life and times of Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez by Kurotsuki-Tenchi**

**Blue and Green by Dior Crystal (some of the chapters are funny)**

**the Survivor's Guide to Surviving the Infection by Rastanton94 (if you like the Left 4 Dead video games)**

**I hope to finish this story before I start college in August. I don't know if that will be possible, but I'll do my best.**

**WARNING: another sensual scene. it's a bit more descriptive than the one in chapter two, but still not anywhere near graphic. as with chapter two, you have the option of skimming or skipping it.**

* * *

Dr. Unohana had told Hiyori that there are at least ten things a person should cease doing if they have cancer.

_1) Stop smoking._

She was innocent here (unless one counted secondhand smoking from her idiot friend Akon). She'd held cigarettes for friends on occasion, but she'd never tried smoking herself. It was disgusting, it smelled terrible, it did awful things to one's health, and she didn't understand how Akon was able to do it.

"Helps with the stress," he'd once said. "You should try it sometime, maybe then you'll stop bitching about everything."

It was probably a good thing that Lisa was there to hold back Hiyori from breaking Akon's nose.

_2) Stop eating unhealthy._

She had little reason to be concerned here either. While she used to occasionally eat junk food, she'd always been a health-conscious person. She ate the right amount of nutrients, made time for exercise, resisted destructive habits (besides fighting), and took overall good care of herself.

_3) Stop being afraid to ask questions or voice opinions about treatment._

Unohana and her coworkers were just a phone call away. Sometimes Nurse Kotetsu would answer when her superior wasn't around, and while she didn't have the same solid confidence, she had a good doctor's attitude, gentle but strong. On rare occasions, the young newcomer Hanataro would be the voice she heard. His nervous demeanor annoyed her, but he was sweet, so she abided him.

_4) Stop taking medical advice from friends._

This she was clear of. She'd gone to the doctor as soon as she discovered the first set of bruises on her back, with no consultation to her friends. She knew better than to do that. Not that she didn't trust her friends, but none of them that she'd known at the time had any interest in medicine, and none, of course, had any training.

_5) Stop being afraid of getting a second opinion._

It wasn't just Unohana's input she asked for during her hospital visits; she also talked to Kotetsu and radiation therapist Iemura. Hanataro and a few other doctors were a lot of help as well, as was Hachi when they met in college. She had so many people she could go to for aid, and while she rarely gave thanks, she was very grateful for it all.

_6) Stop refusing help from others._

Not guilty. Proud and independent as she was, Hiyori wasn't stupid. Requesting Unohana's assistance when it was needed and leaning on the offered support of her friends were, in her opinion, two vital things that had played a part in keeping her alive long past the expected time.

_7) Stop asking why._

That was the first question to come to her mind when Shinji told her Unohana reported her sick. She'd thought, 'Why me? I know I'm not the nicest person around, but. . .what did I do so wrong in life to deserve this?'

It was Lisa who told her to stop being so pessimistic.

"Things like this can happen to anyone, good or bad," her dark-haired friend said. "Asking yourself why is a waste of time. You just need to focus on getting better."

For someone who looked at pornographic magazines in her spare time just for the hell of it, Lisa always knew the right things to say when the situation called for it.

_8) Stop feeling like you're the only one._

She was already well aware that she wasn't. At the hospital, she'd been introduced to other patients, one of them a man named Hideki. He was always talking to her during her treatment days, and she tolerated him; he seemed like a decent enough guy. He bragged a lot, though, mostly about his martial arts skills in high school, boasting that he would one day be the strongest man in Japan, earning him the nickname "Big Mouth".

Unless he made some miracle recovery, however, his dream wouldn't happen. The last time she'd spoken to him, he hadn't been in much better condition than she.

_9) Stop thinking there is no hope._

While there was no recovery for her to hope for, Hiyori kept her loved ones in her thoughts. It was such a nagging concern wondering how her friends and family would cope when her time here was up.

Kisuke, Yoruichi, and Tessai would be fine. They'd grieve for some time, but they were strong. She felt confident that, while they'd never forget her, they'd accept what happened and move on.

She didn't worry too much about Jinta and Ururu. As young as they were, they understood what was going on, especially Ururu. They'd be okay. They were the two most resilient kids she knew.

She doubted she'd get to meet her new baby brother or sister, but she felt it would be a good distraction for her family, keeping their minds occupied. She just hoped he or she would one day understand what had happened to her.

She knew Kensei, Love, Rose, and Hachi would be the fastest to recuperate. Despite the age differences to the latter three, they were some of her closest friends. She hadn't known them as long as Mashiro, Lisa, and Shinji, and they'd mourn, but otherwise she felt they'd be alright.

With the type of personality she had, she wasn't too worried about Mashiro. She could bounce back from anything. Besides, she had Kensei; he was her best friend, and they'd been closer than ever since his return from America.

She couldn't tell how long it would take for Lisa to recover. It would hurt her worse than most, but she had Shunsui by her side. He was a good guy; Hiyori trusted him to be there for Lisa to help her through.

Sometimes she thought he'd survive, other times she thought he would die without her. She just wasn't sure about Shinji.

_10) Stop forgetting that intimacy is still important._

It amazed her how much self-control and patience Shinji had for her. She knew he missed their intimacy, though he never brought it up in conversation, never tried anything. He kept his usual relaxed expression in place most of the time, and she knew he loved her for more than that, but she saw the longing in his eyes, felt the desire he tried to hide in his affectionate kisses and subtle touches.

As for Hiyori, it was also something that had been pushed to the back of her mind in the past few years as her health deteriorated. Of course it wasn't something she'd forgotten, and she missed the feeling of holding her Shinji so close to her, but in the face of her illness, it had somehow become less important than it once was.

_"Keep all of this in mind," Unohana said. "Enjoy life while it's here. Take care of yourself. Most importantly, look after your loved ones; they're the people who will be with you until your last breath."_

* * *

Hiyori was asleep when Shinji arrived home that night, her tiny form still as a statue apart from her chest rising and falling as she breathed. He went about his usual chores, taking care to avoid waking Hiyori. Not only to escape her wrath, but also to let her continue her slumber.

He kept quiet as he ate a quick dinner, cleaned the kitchen, put away the laundry in the dryer, and showered. When he walked back into the bedroom a little while later, he was startled to see the lamp on the nightstand switched on and Hiyori sitting up, her face expressionless. So he hadn't been noiseless enough. Either that, or she'd already been asleep for awhile. He hoped it was the latter.

"Hey, Hiyori," he said, tossing his day clothes in the hamper. "How long have you been up?"

"You were being noisy with the dishes," she said, her voice soft. "That's what woke me."

'Well shit,' he thought guiltily. As he got into bed, he said, "Sorry. You were passed out when I got here. Didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine," she sighed, shrugging it off as nothing. "I've been sleeping all day anyway."

She must have really been too drained to start an argument with him, because any other time, she would have attacked him for waking her up. He kept that assessment to himself; they both fell silent, and Hiyori didn't make any move closer to him. She was distracted by something, he could tell by the distant look in her eyes. He considered asking her what was wrong, but he knew that if he did, her response would just be that it was nothing and he needed to mind his own business. For now, he'd just leave her to her musings; she'd talk to him when she wanted.

After a few minutes, Hiyori still hadn't moved an inch. She just stared down at the sheets tangled around her legs, her face lost in concentration. She didn't even seem to notice Shinji watching her, waiting for her to snap out of the trance she was in (and to yell at him for staring at her). He wanted so badly to ask her what was the matter so that he could help her fix whatever problem she had.

Yet even as he thought this, he felt his eyes growing heavy, despite the light from the lamp that would usually keep him awake. He closed them, intending to just rest them for a moment. He jolted back into the present just seconds later when Hiyori finally spoke.

"Shinji?" she said quietly, still refusing to look at him.

"Yeah, Hiyori?" he replied, stifling a yawn.

"Sit up," she said. "I need to talk to you."

'Oh no' were the first words in his mind as he obeyed. He hoped, whatever it was, it hadn't been anything he'd done. Or worse, something concerning the cancer. "What is it?" he asked.

"Well. . ." she started, her tone soft again. "I called Unohana this morning because I wasn't feeling well, and I didn't want to interrupt you at work. We were talking about the late stages, and some things she told me when I first got sick that I need to remember. . ."

He hated how she said 'late stages' so casually, like they were discussing something as benign as an upcoming test in class.

"There were some things on the list she gave me that really stuck out to me, like seeking help when I need it, eating healthy, and avoiding that bastard baldy Akon because of his cigarettes. You know, basic, common sense stuff you don't need a doctor to tell you. But then there was another one that I never really thought about until she mentioned it like it was nothing. . ."

He didn't like the way she kept trailing off. He could tell she was nervous, because she always talked a lot when she was nervous. What was it Unohana had told her? And what was with the sudden blush?

"Hiyori, what's up?" he asked, reaching over and taking her hand in his.

She hesitated, staring down at his warm hand holding hers. The blush on her usually pale face deepened, and she took a deep breath before saying, "She said that. . .I shouldn't forget things like. . .you know. . .being intimate. . ."

Her voice had dropped to nearly a whisper at her last words, so low Shinji barely caught them. He thought he was hearing things at first, for these were words he never thought he'd hear Hiyori say. She looked surprised herself, though she tried to keep her demeanor casual, lifting her gaze up to meet his, waiting for and judging his response.

A few silent seconds passed before his lips curved into a small smile. After all this time, long after she'd given herself to him, the topic of intimacy still clearly embarrassed her. He thought it was funny that they were so contrasting in this aspect, because he was more open about it for conversation than she was. It didn't even bother him that every time he teased her about it, she insulted or attacked him.

He felt a sudden rush of desire course through him. It was nothing new, but so unexpected. She looked adorable with that deep red blush on her face, her blonde hair tangled from sleep, and her signature scowl lining her lips. He controlled himself from giving in to his urges; he never did anything without her consent, so for now he'd just settle for teasing instead.

"What are you trying to say, Hiyori?" he asked, still smirking.

She looked taken off-guard by what he'd said, but she quickly covered it with irritation. "It's obvious, idiot. I shouldn't have to say it."

"Come on," he challenged. "Enough with the shyness; you're a grown woman, just spit it out already. It's no big deal, we're both adults here."

"Yeah, and only one of us acts like said adult," she argued.

"You're right, and that one is me," he countered. "Now out with it, darling."

"See, you know what I'm talking about, moron!" she snapped. "I don't need to spell it out for you. Stop being annoying."

"Annoying, huh?" he provoked. "That's not what you told Lisa and Mashiro after the first time. Yeah, I overheard you discreetly telling them how good I am. Don't deny it."

He knew he was pushing his luck, and he expected to be punched then, but Hiyori didn't lift a hand against him. Instead, she sighed, restraining herself from blacking his eye, and said, "Shinji. . .I want to. . .um. . ."

"To what?" he said, dropping the leer and regarding her seriously. "Just say it, Hiyori. I won't laugh at you, at least not until later."

Hiyori shot him a half-hearted glare before saying, "I want to. . .make love. . .or however the hell you want to phrase it. . .see, it's fucking embarrassing, Shinji. . ."

Shinji just stared at her for a moment; he didn't think she'd actually say it aloud, and he was glad she did. She was looking away from him again, her face reverting back to pale now, but her grip on his hand tightened possessively.

Now that she'd stated what she wanted, he could make his move. 'Well that shower was certainly a waste of time,' he thought. He raised his free hand, tilted her head up to look into her brown eyes, leaned forward, and kissed her.

It was just a soft press of his lips to hers, chaste, undemanding, but as the seconds ticked by, Hiyori found herself deepening the kiss. She felt all those old feelings rising within her as Shinji wrapped an arm around her and pulled her body over against his. His lips moved down to her neck, and she tilted her head back to give him more space.

A moment or two of Shinji kissing her neck passed before he pressed his lips to hers again, eased her down on the bed, and moved his body on tops of hers. He took his time in shedding their clothes and traveling over her form; she felt the heat, the passion, all those familiar thrills gradually filling her as his kisses and touches teased her most sensitive places, but he made his way over her body slowly to avoid overwhelming her.

He stopped a few times to ask her if she was okay, or if she wanted to stop. Each time, she assured him she was fine, and to keep going. He did so reluctantly, yet she could see the clear lust in his eyes, just as prominent as her own emotions.

When Hiyori was finally completely exposed to Shinji, she suddenly felt self-conscious, just as she had the first time, but more so now. Her skin was marred by bruises she received from the slightest collisions and scars left behind from the needles in the hospital. The sickness had taken its toll on her as well, as she was more pale and thin than she'd originally been.

Shinji didn't mention a thing about any of it, not that he would. She tried to see if there was any disgust or repulsion in his eyes, but there was none. All she could see was admiration, concern, hunger, every combination of emotion possible, as he continued to steadily trace her form.

Eventually, he took her into his arms and kissed her forehead. Her hands settled on his back, her arms wrapped around him, she pulled him closer to her. He rested his head on her shoulder, waiting a moment to let her catch her breath from his previous actions.

She shivered as he positioned himself between her legs. He froze yet again, fighting the instincts threatening to control him. His eyes met hers, and he said, "Are you sure you're feeling okay? We can stop right here, or anytime, if you want."

Deep down, where her pride didn't exist, Hiyori was touched that Shinji cared so much about her and her well-being, putting his own desires in second place. On the surface, however, she was simultaneously annoyed due to the fact that he'd already paused several times. Sure she was sick, but did he always have to be so anxious towards her? She kept that thought to herself, stayed calm. "No, Shinji, I'm alright. I promise, I'll let you know if I start feeling any different."

He didn't say anything, just stared into her eyes; he'd almost forgotten how mesmerizing they were. He saw the lust, the passion, the love she'd never verbally expressed. She gazed back at him, her face relaxed, the scowl gone for once. One of her hands came up to touch his face and run her fingers through his hair. He did the same, brushing her messy hair away from her face and resting his palm on her neck.

Then it began the way it always did; Hiyori squirmed underneath him to get more comfortable, and her legs pressed against his hips. He twisted his left hand in her hair, while his right took hold of her left, entwining their fingers together. She placed her other hand on his back, and he kissed her again as he pushed inside her.

Hiyori's breathing quickened again as the same sensation from before built up again, so Shinji kept his pace decently slow so that he wouldn't strain her. Though she was still shy, since that first time with him, she'd gained confidence and experience, and she responded to his touches, letting her hands explore his body, roaming over his chest, his back, his waist, occasionally moving her hips to meet him. She immersed herself in the moment, able to temporarily forget her sickness.

Shinji, meanwhile, despite his current actions, couldn't fully wrap his mind around what he was doing. Part of him was in the moment, reveling in the feeling of pleasuring and loving Hiyori. Yet the other half was distracted; he wouldn't say it aloud, but his main reason for being so careful with her was simple: she was just so fragile to him now, like he could so easily break her if he made even one wrong move. He'd taken a look at her a moment ago, and she seemed so much smaller, more so than she already was. She'd attack him if she knew he felt this way, but it alarmed him.

He tried not to think too much about it, though; Hiyori was right, he needed to stop worrying so much about her, somehow. He made himself focus on her, just her. Right now, she wasn't cancer patient Hiyori Sarugaki, she was the normal person Hiyori Sarugaki, his girlfriend, the woman he loved. Just as she had, he pushed her illness away for the moment, because she was here with him, alive, breathing, and making him feel like he was in heaven.

* * *

The room was still rather dim, the lamp having been switched off last night, the sun just barely shining through the curtains. Shinji was the first to wake the next morning. For awhile, he just lay there, unmotivated to move, content in the blankets, Hiyori in his arms. When his brain and body had caught up to each other, he gathered whatever energy he had and eased out of the bed, careful not to rouse the still-dormant Hiyori.

He didn't plan to go anywhere today, but he still got dressed, pulling on a pair of slacks and one of his formal shirts. He tossed his and Hiyori's clothes from yesterday in the hamper and left Hiyori a new set on the nightstand. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead before quietly leaving the room.

The next few hours seemed to drag by for him. He went for a short walk without going too far from the apartment. He sorted through the mail and paid the bills. He watched a few television shows he had no real interest in. Nothing made the time pass by any faster waiting for Hiyori to wake up.

It felt like a full day had gone by when she finally walked into the living room, where he lay half-asleep on the couch. She sat down next to him on the edge and poked his stomach to wake him up. He opened his eyes and looked up at her: her hair was still free and a little messy, she was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, and, to his satisfaction, she appeared much better rested than she had in awhile.

"Morning, Hiyori," he said, smiling. "Sleep okay?"

"I'm fine, baldy," she said. "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me," he said, sitting up to speak to her at eye level.

Hiyori gave him an annoyed look and said, "Idiot, I asked you a question. So answer it."

Shinji smirked. "Hmm. Fine. I'm great. Never been better. Are you hungry?"

"No," she said, but just as she said this, her stomach growled.

Shinji grinned, stood up, and walked towards the kitchen. "What do you want to eat?"

Hiyori sighed and made herself comfortable on the couch. "I don't care. Surprise me."

So he did, his body blocking view of the stove as he cooked. Hiyori picked up a magazine from the coffee table and flipped through it apathetically. Neither spoke, but for once, the silence between them wasn't taut with friction. It was one of those relaxed hushes that they'd often fallen into when they were still only friends and in the early days of their romance.

Everything was easy with Shinji; that was one of the reasons she loved him so much. He was just so simple to get along with. Despite their frequent bickering, they rarely ever truly fought. His calm personality worked with her hotheaded character perfectly. Polar opposites, yet they said opposites attract, right?

Hiyori put down the magazine after a few minutes and watched Shinji as he worked. He was no doubt exhausted from not only last night, but from how much he worked. Yet he still managed to stand tall, back straight and head held high. Even when he had troubles, he had an air of confidence about him. Because of her own buried insecurities, Hiyori admired that trait of his.

After a little while, Shinji finished with breakfast. He carried a tray with two plates and two cups of milk into the living room and took his seat next to Hiyori, setting the tray on the coffee table. Hiyori surveyed what he had prepared: two pieces of buttered toast, a fried egg, and a small bowl of fruit slices each.

"Is this okay?" he asked after she'd taken a few bites.

"If it wasn't, I wouldn't be eating it, would I?" Hiyori retorted.

He smiled and replied, "Smartass."

The couple didn't speak as they ate. Hiyori didn't realize how hungry she really was until she finished before Shinji, her stomach full and aching. He stared at her, amused. "Hungry much, Hiyori?"

"Shut up," she mumbled, taking a drink of her milk to hide her blush.

"I have a question for you, Hiyori," he said.

She was annoyed that he was changing the subject so easily, but she decided to play along. "What's your question, Shinji?"

"I was thinking about this last night after you'd fallen asleep," he said. "When was the last time we danced together?"

Hiyori thought about that for a moment. She knew for sure that it had been at least a year, the same condition as what they'd done last night. She and Shinji used to dance all the time; like with most of their love life, however, it had been pushed on the back burner. She missed dancing with him. Him leading, her following, his rhythm, their steps matching the music. She never even had to dress up for him, he was fine with her tomboy clothes just as long as they could dance together.

Hiyori shrugged. "A year or two, I suppose. Why?"

Shinji suddenly stood up, crossed the room, and switched on the radio that rested on the end of the counter closest to the den. The song that began was a strumming guitar accompanied by soft piano notes; Hiyori recognized it as part of the CD Love and Rose had put together for them a few years ago, a mix of their favorite love songs. As the melody continued, Shinji returned to Hiyori's side, a small smile on his face, and held out a hand to her.

"I know you might still be worn out from last night, but...Hiyori Sarugaki, would you do me the honor of being my dance partner?"

Hiyori's face once again turned warm and red. She found it strange he was asking her to dance after his well-known reservations of taking her to the park. Yet he had taken her in the end, and after their activity from last night, she felt she'd be okay, able to do this without collapsing.

So she allowed a slight smile to curve her lips, and she said, "Yes, Shinji Hirako. It would be my pleasure."

With those words, she reached up and accepted his hand, and he pulled her to her feet and to the middle of the living room. His other hand rested on her waist, while hers came up to his shoulder. They looked into each other's eyes as they began to dance at a steady pace that wouldn't stress Hiyori.

_Sheltering from the rain, I slowly open the umbrella of my heart_

_I can believe in tomorrow because you are here_

_See? The rain is stopping_

_Even when I try my hardest, I only end up running in circles_

_At those times I count the sighs and feel hopeless, everything is going wrong_

_I suddenly remember that song_

_You always sing and look up to the sky_

_My face that's reflected in a puddle slowly turns into a smile_

Hiyori had always found it difficult to open up to people. Not only was she cynical and petulant, but she preferred to keep her personal life as just that to prevent being taken advantage of. But of course, Shinji Hirako had happened; he'd come into her life in childhood completely uninvited, and whether or not she'd initially wanted him, he was her best and closest friend in just a few years. While she still had trust complications, because of him, she'd lost the iciness from her childhood. He could piss her off in a second, but only a moment later, he could make her smile again. He knew her better than anyone else, possibly more than she knew herself. He was the person she loved and trusted the most, the one she could count on for anything.

_I want you to know who I really am_

_I never thought I'd feel this way towards you_

_And if you ever need someone to come along_

_I will follow you, and keep you strong_

_And every time I see your face_

_The oceans heave up to my heart_

_You make me wanna strain at the oars_

_And soon, I can see the shore_

While she had long acknowledged Shinji as her best friend, she had never expected to fall for him. For years, it seemed that everyone but Hiyori knew that she had feelings beyond platonic for that "stupid dickhead baldy". The first time she'd ever outwardly admitted it to anyone but Lisa was when Shinji asked her to be his girlfriend. It took a few months, rants, and confrontations, mostly about his "first love" claims, but given time, she had agreed.

_All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze when I'm lying wrapped up in your arms_

_The whole world just fades away, the only thing I hear is the beating of your heart_

_In a way I know my heart is waking up as all the walls come tumbling down_

_I'm closer than I've ever felt before, and I know, and you know_

_There's no need for words right now_

Shinji had taken his time breaking down the walls of Hiyori's heart. She had been quite a challenge, so unlike all the other girls who were smoothly won over by a few sweet words. It hadn't been easy because of her misanthropic nature, but she was worth it in the end. Now in those moments when they were the closest to each other, he didn't have any need for words, letting his actions speak for him.

_Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts_

_And we've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face_

_And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance_

_And up until now I have sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

_I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't let go of what's in front of me here_

_I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up_

_Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream_

_I'm on my way to believing_

In the past, Shinji would always tell the pretty girls that they were his first loves. Whenever Hiyori witnessed this, it had given her the weirdest sensation of loneliness. She covered it with simple anger and jealousy, and she would admit it to no one but Lisa, but his affection towards other girls made her hurt worse than the day her mother abandoned her. Because of this, she'd been hesitant to accept when he'd asked her to be his, but at this point, she was glad she had.

_If we can be born again, let's meet underneath the cherry tree_

_I swear that when that time comes, we'll laugh forever_

_A life where I love and am loved is budding and blooming_

_That view will never fade, a wish dances in my heart_

_As I go on believing in these quiet days_

_I want to forget about wanting to tell you that I love you_

_But not being able to so that I can go on living tomorrow_

_For you, for you, for you and I to just be able to meet again_

Shinji knew he would lose Hiyori, no matter how much he tried to deny it. It broke his heart, and despite her wishes for him to do so, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to move on. Before she passed, he wanted to tell her he loved her, that he was in love with her, but for some reason, he couldn't, not yet, there just hadn't been a right time. Whatever happened, though, whatever they did, whether or not either would say those three words, he hoped he'd be able to see her again someday when his own time here burned out.

_I didn't wander in the woods, used to fear the darkness_

_I didn't like getting deep, I was scared of what I couldn't keep_

_But when you give me love_

_I have no fear of heights, no fear of the deep blue sea_

_Although it could drown me, I know it could drown me_

_No fear of the fall, no fear if it's with you that I fall_

_'Cause nothing could break us, no, nothing could break us, now._

Hiyori had never been more afraid of anything in her life than dying. Not because of the event itself, but the situations that came along with it. She was always snapping at Shinji to stop worrying about her, but it was all she could do for him, her friends, and her family. With Shinji by her side, though, everything seemed a little bit easier to deal with.

_I bet all I had on a thing called love, I guess in the end it wasn't enough_

_And it's hard to watch you leave right now, I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow_

_Somehow I'll move on, baby, just like you_

_When the desert floods and the grass turns blue_

_When a sailing ship don't need her moon_

_It'll break my heart but I'll get through_

_Someday when I stop loving you_

Shinji would never cease to love Hiyori, not even after she was gone. He wished that alone could keep her here with him, but that just wasn't a possibility for them. By her request, however, he had to find some way to make it through, move on with his life. As the song came to its end, Shinji sighed and pulled Hiyori closer to him, wrapping his arms around her protectively, and she rested her head on his chest.

_Sure ain't the first time, hope it ain't the last time_

_When all the work is done, by the light of a setting sun_

_We see what we've become, two of the lucky ones_

_For the very first time, there's no words to be found_

_Opened up our eyes, there was love all around_

_Standing on a hill, staring at a mountain_

Through all the fights, the strikes, and the grief, when Shinji and Hiyori were together, they felt like they were on top of the world, far above and away from life's hardships. He wished that feeling could last forever, that he could just stand here with Hiyori, dancing the day away. He knew he couldn't, though, none of it. He should have known.

* * *

**The character Big Mouth, I don't know his real name, and I couldn't find it anywhere. I don't know if anyone remembers who he is, but he was a classmate of Hiyori's in the Shinigami Academy, and was eventually locked away in the Maggot's Nest because he was considered dangerous. He didn't appear in the manga, though he was included in the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc in the anime, episode 208.**

**The list Unohana gave Hiyori can be found if you google '10 Things To Stop Doing If You Have Cancer.' It should be the first result, on About dot com.**

**The lyrics from the songs are not mine; they are: Amayadori by Miwa (translated), Life is Like a Boat by Rie Fu, Breathe by Faith Hill, the Only Exception by Paramore, Sakurabito by Sunset Swish (translated), No Fear of Heights by Katie Melua, Someday When I Stop Loving You by Carrie Underwood, and Two of the Lucky Ones by Pete Droge.**

* * *

**Now I think I've spent enough time building up the plot and keeping you all in suspense.**


	8. Chapter 8

**thank you for the reviews from Newjug, Bree Avalon, Shimmerbreeze, deadpoolhulk, and AniMesXVIII. You're all awesome :)**

* * *

_For another month and a half, everything seemed okay. Or at least calm. Shinji had been apprehensive that something would happen to Hiyori's health because of the night of passion and the next morning spent dancing, but there was nothing drastic. He told himself he was just being paranoid; he felt he could rest easy for now._

_His twenty-fourth birthday came and went. He hadn't planned to do anything about it, so he'd been surprised when he came home from work the day of May 10th to find that Hiyori had organized a party for him (he was also impressed that she'd been able to do so without him noticing the slightest sign). The scene was complete with food, drinks, cake, decorations, music, and gifts. All their close friends were there, as well as their families._

_Later, after the house was cleared of the party mess and everyone had gone home, he and Hiyori retired to bed for the night. For several hours, however, they just lay awake talking. About anything and everything, no subject was left forgotten, even a few topics they'd discussed many times before. They both went to sleep sometime in the early morning hours, feeling rather at peace._

_Only a few days after the party, Lisa had good news to share._

_Her tone was strange when she called Hiyori and asked if she could come over. She was given a yes, an invitation to arrive whenever. When she came to the door, she had a weird expression on her face to match her voice, calm as always, but with a barely-there hint of an ecstatic smile._

_Hiyori wondered out loud what the hell was making her so happy; Shinji asked her if she and Shunsui finally gave their all, to which Hiyori punched his arm and Lisa laughed but answered in the negative. They were both taken by surprise when she held up her left hand, revealing a silver band with a glittering jewel on her ring finger._

_She went on to tell them that Shunsui had asked for her hand in marriage the night following Shinji's birthday party. She'd been caught completely off-guard; despite their growing relationship, she hadn't expected a wedding to be part of the deal. Still, she was more than happy to agree, and they began planning right away to take their vows during the summer, Lisa's favorite time of year._

_Both Shinji and Hiyori congratulated her, and Hiyori accepted the offer of maid of honor._

_Just as she had felt with Yoruichi and the baby, though, Hiyori was ashamed of the small dart of jealousy that pierced her heart._

* * *

It was only ten o' clock, and Shinji was already exhausted and more than ready to go home. He'd been hard at work since he arrived, gathering a report of the profits and monetary gain from a previous project, and now organizing the expected results and budget for the next scheme. While he wasn't bad at math, he didn't particularly enjoy it, but he didn't complain. All that would do is cause a headache worse than the one he had now.

Which was why he was thankful when he heard a soft knock on the door of his office, glad for a brief distraction. He pushed his chair away from the computer and let out a yawn before saying, "Come in, it's open."

The knob turned and the door swung forward to reveal Momo Hinamori, one of Shinji's coworkers and a former classmate and first love. She smiled in greeting as she closed the door behind her. "Good morning, Shinji. Sorry to bother you, I know you're busy sorting the finances."

"It's okay, no big deal," he said. "It's almost halfway done, it should still be finished by the time I usually get off work. Anyway, how are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied. "And you?"

"Tired, but otherwise I'm alright," he said. He yawned again and asked, "How's that guy of yours? Hitsugaya, isn't it?"

Her face brightened at the mention of her husband's name. "Toshiro's good. He's been promoted at work; his new partner gives him a hard time - he says she's a lazy alcoholic - but they get along really well." Now her face suddenly turned serious. "What about your girl, Hiyori?"

Shinji sighed and turned his head to gaze absentmindedly out the window at the clear sky. "She's okay. She's gotten sick a few times, but she hasn't been in the hospital for awhile, so I try not to worry too much. She hates when I worry."

Momo was quiet for a moment. "Shinji, listen. I know we're not close or anything, but we're friends, so...if you ever need to talk, you know where I am, right?"

Shinji turned back to her to see her smiling softly at him. He returned the expression gratefully. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Momo."

Silence fell between them for a minute before Shinji broke it. "So what did you need when you came in here?"

"Oh, right," Momo said. "There's a lady here - waiting in the lobby - who says she needs to talk to you."

"Did she give a name?" he asked. "I can only go if it's something urgent."

"No name, but she's a brunette, blue eyes, glasses, wearing a black shirt with a matching skirt," Momo illustrated. "Sound familiar?"

Shinji knew who it was she was describing, and it troubled him. He held back a sigh, stood up from his chair, and walked around his desk. "Very familiar. I've got a few minutes."

Shinji followed Momo to the foyer, where, sure enough, Lisa sat waiting for him. She looked up and stood when she noticed him approaching. He knew she had been off work today, and she always visited Hiyori on those days. Just with that knowledge, he dreaded whatever the reason was that she'd made the trip to his workplace.

Though she was mostly hiding it well, Shinji could see the agitation on her face even from across the room.

"Thank you, Momo," he said to his colleague as a polite dismissal.

"No problem, Shinji," she said, giving him another smile before turning to go back to work.

Shinji's studied Lisa's face then; though she was mostly hiding it well, he could see the agitation in her expression. He pretended not to notice. "Hello, Lisa."

In contrast to her countenance, Lisa's voice was as collected as ever when she said, "Hello, Shinji."

He now jumped straight to his question. "What's happened?"

"She just wasn't feeling well," Lisa said. "She had a headache, a sore throat, fever, she couldn't catch her breath. I offered to call you, but she said not to because you were probably busy, so I didn't. When she passed out a little while later, I panicked and took her to the hospital."

"Is she still there now?" he asked.

Lisa nodded. "Unohana recommends that she stay overnight, but Hiyori wants to go back home, so Unohana is giving her a bit of advice before she checks out. She said Hiyori would be fine for now as long as she takes it easy and doesn't exert herself. She also told her to remind you to call her every few hours to check on her"

"That's overkill in Hiyori's book. So nothing serious?"

"Not this time."

Shinji sighed with a mix of relief and frustration. "Okay. Thanks, Lisa. If you don't mind, could you take her back to the house whenever Unohana finishes with her? I'll talk to Kisuke and be home as soon as possible."

"Sure," Lisa agreed. "See you in a few."

* * *

Shinji made it home just a little over an hour later. After explaining the situation to Kisuke, his boss let him go early as long as he finished the report within a week, so Shinji saved the work he had so far for the revenue, locked up his office, and headed home. Luck seemed to be on his side with everything going on, because even lunch-hour traffic was rather merciful.

Lisa was there when he arrived. He noticed the still-present disheartened look on her face, hair messy and loose from its usual braid, eyes bloodshot. He didn't ask why; Lisa wouldn't say a word, and besides that, he already knew the reason. She heaved a stressed sigh as he took a seat next to her on the couch.

"You okay?" he asked.

Lisa shrugged. "I will be. Just need a nap or a drink with Shunsui or something."

Shinji opened his mouth to speak again, but Lisa was quicker just seconds after her last statement. "After I got back to the hospital from your workplace, Unohana asked Hiyori if she just wanted to stay there until your shift ended, but she didn't want that, either. Stubborn girl. So she's resting now."

"Good," Shinji said. "Look, Lisa, sorry to trouble you like this."

"It's nothing, Shinji," she said.

"Well, thanks, anyway," he said. "Listen, we can keep this thing between us, right?"

Lisa looked unsure, but she agreed before leaving to go home a few minutes later. "Sure, Shinji."

* * *

Shinji and Hiyori were always bickering. It was such a common event that it had long ago become a normal part of their relationship. When they were peaceful and affectionate, that was when it seemed a little weird, lovers or not. If they weren't engaged in one of their constant arguments, the world seemed out of balance. Fighting, true disputing, however, was rare for them.

Shinji could tell Hiyori was on edge the following week. She became furious at the slightest provocation, intentional or otherwise, yet it wasn't her usual bad temper and effortless irritability. She seemed to have had relapsed back into her depressed state, maintaining silence even when Shinji was in the room with her. If he tried to speak to her, her replies were as short as she could possibly give, and he was unable to draw a conversation out of her; if he persisted, she just shut down and ignored him until he left her alone.

Though he was used to her being annoyed at him 95% of the time, he hated when she was angry at him, and that was all she appeared to be right now. Shinji knew why she was acting like this, but for the first time ever, he didn't know how to make her feel better. So he did whatever he could, refraining from teasing her and continuing to take care of her to the best of his ability. He surprised himself at the amount of patience he had for her, especially considering she'd unleashed one form of her wrath on him.

Besides, he expected it to pass. Maybe it was just a phase. Hiyori had done this two or three times before, back in the day. It would fade in a week or two.

Of course, as analytical and perceptive as he was, things never went in the direction he predicted.

* * *

It was on a Saturday; Shinji was sitting in the living room reading (though not really taking in the text), while Hiyori lay in the bedroom resting from a headache.

He answered the phone quickly when it rang so she wouldn't be disturbed, and when he heard Lisa's voice on the other side, he wondered why the dark-haired woman couldn't have just called his cellphone.

They had a short conversation, Lisa checking in on Hiyori, Shinji reporting that she was just fine, killing the hours away sleeping.

Near the end, Shinji asked, "You didn't tell Mashiro and the others about the hospital, right?"

"No, I didn't," Lisa answered. "It's still between you, me, and Hiyori. But listen, Shinji, does she know you're holding this from everyone?"

"No," Shinji said. "She assumes I tell them everything, and she probably thinks you passed on my taking her to the park to Mashiro. She never brings anything up with them when she sees them herself. She hates double conversation."

Lisa sighed. "I'm not sure about that, Shinji. It doesn't seem right."

Shinji bit back the chagrin from his voice. "She told me she doesn't want anyone worrying about her, so that's what I'm trying to prevent."

Lisa dropped the subject there. "If you say so. Just know that if Hiyori doesn't find out first, something will happen to force you to tell them. You can't keep this up forever."

"I won't," Shinji said. "Just until..."

Lisa picked up on what he was insinuating. "Understood."

With those words, she and Shinji said their farewells to each other and hung up the phone. A quiet moment or two passed with nothing. Shinji resumed his reading, but had a harder time than before focusing from his discussion with Lisa.

He looked up when he caught movement from his peripheral vision to see Hiyori emerge from the hallway that led to the bedrooms. She looked mostly like her normal self; blonde hair pulled up into pigtails, plain white t-shirt, black sweatpants hiding the bruises on her legs. Calm despite her violent nature.

Or so he thought.

Her eyes gave her away, a mix of hurt, indignation, and dejection.

Shinji marked and closed the book and set it to the side. "Hiyori? What's the matter?"

Hiyori gave no immediate response, just stood by the hallway glaring at him. She had one hand against the wall for support, otherwise she'd have likely become lightheaded or collapsed. Shinji wanted to stand and move to her side, guide her back to the bedroom, but was somehow held in place by her icy stare.

When she finally did move, she crossed the living room and, without warning, seized the collar of Shinji's shirt. He opened his mouth to speak, but she was faster, adrenaline rushing through her veins, her eyes stormy as she snapped, "What were you and Lisa talking about, Shinji?"

He stared at her, surprised by her outburst, though he hid it well. "It was nothing," he denied.

Hiyori resisted the urge to slap him. "Don't give me that shit, Shinji! Answer the damn question, and answer it honestly."

He hesitated, so Hiyori asked, "What did you mean, you didn't tell Mashiro and the others? You said something about the park, too. What was that about?"

Shinji looked away from her, focusing on the tiny hands grasping his shirt. He reached up, took hold of her wrists, and gently pulled her hands away. He still wouldn't meet her eyes; she had finally caught him after months of their friends being kept in the dark, and he knew he had some explaining to do. First thing, though, was to calm her. "Sit down, Hiyori. We need to talk."

"No," she refused. "Answer the question."

"Hiyori-" he tried to interrupt.

She jerked her wrists away from him roughly, taking no notice of the marks already beginning to form on her skin. "I'm not doing anything until you tell me what you meant what you said to Lisa. I heard the entire fucking conversation, Shinji, so why don't you clear it up for me in case I'm wrong?"

He still wavered, taking a deep breath to retain a level head. The last thing he needed was to lose control and say something he didn't mean and make the situation worse. Now he looked up at her. "I haven't told them anything happening in the past year."

"What do you mean?"

Shinji explained, "Meaning they don't know about the park, the unplanned hospital visits, your health. Just Lisa, the doctors, and I know it all. As for the others, however - and that includes your family - they think you're still managing okay for being sick."

It was all out in the open now, and Shinji waited for Hiyori's reaction.

She went from simple angry to livid in seconds, and he braced himself for her response.

"What the hell, Shinji?" Hiyori began. "Who the hell do you think you are, not telling them things like that? They have just as much right to know as you, Lisa, and the doctors, and I fail to see the big deal about the park."

Shinji didn't answer; he'd let her have her say before he defended himself.

His lack of a reply only seemed to infuriate her further. "Why haven't you told them? Why haven't you been keeping them updated? Aren't you the one always telling me to rest? Hell, I can barely get up for a glass of water, so what makes you think I'd be the one to call them? Apart from that, I feel like I'm bothering them, because they have lives, you know? And I don't know why, but they look to you to tell them these things, anyway, like some sort of leader."

She paused in her rant to take a breath, and Shinji said, "You're right."

"I'm right?" she continued. "That's all you have to say? Son of a - geez, Shinji, I assumed you told them, so why haven't you done that? If I can't trust you to do something as simple as that, then...how can I trust you at all?"

Whatever composure Shinji had fell away at her last words. So this was all his fault? She'd implied just that. He knew she was often tired, and she wasn't getting any better, but she had enough energy to make just quick phone calls, didn't she? Or had he misunderstood her all along? Was she playing tough to fool him, too?

He knew of her insecurities involving people, including her friends. It was probably the reason she was so reluctant to call them herself. He thought she'd buried her personal demons long ago, but maybe he was wrong.

What made him snap, however, was her suspicion of trust. Of course she could trust him, wasn't that why they were together? He'd spent years earning her faith, and she was questioning it over something like this?

Either way, his brown eyes turned cold, boring straight into and right through her. "And what about you, Hiyori?"

The woman addressed was intimidated by the way he was looking at her, but she didn't dare show it, not even backing away from him. "What are you talking about?"

"You do the same thing, hide everything," he accused. "Did you know about Ururu? She was sick once, wasn't she? But she got better, and she's healthy again. Yet you never told me, I had to find out from Kisuke."

Hiyori was wide-eyed, speechless, having not at all anticipated Shinji to have this attitude towards her, let alone remind her of her once-ill adopted younger sister.

"You hide from your own family, Hiyori," he said. "You tell me not to keep things from our friends, but you have no room to talk. Kisuke has to ask about you at work and relay whatever I tell him to Yoruichi, Tessai, and your brother and sister because he never gets a call from you to tell him anything. He doesn't get a lot of time to visit very often, so shouldn't you compensate for him?"

So how much did Kisuke know? Yoruichi? Tessai? Jinta and Ururu? She wondered just how much Shinji had actually told them so far. She still didn't have a clue what to say about it.

"You say I can't be trusted because I've kept everything from our friends," he finished. "Well, how do you think your family feels? Are they able to trust you? Something to think about, Hiyori."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted saying them. He hadn't raised his voice at her, he never did, but Hiyori had the appearance of someone who had been screamed at, then struck in the face. She looked too taken aback to be able to counter what he'd said. He felt guilty for it, despite all she'd said to him. He needed to apologize, quick.

He didn't get the chance to right away. All he was able to say was her name before she finally collapsed. Her legs gave out beneath her and she knelt on the floor, hand to her chest, breathing labored.

Alarmed, Shinji moved to her side. He was surprised when she flinched as he knelt down next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, tried to make her look at him with the other, but she jerked away from him.

"Hiyori, look at me."

"No. Just leave me alone."

"I can't do that, Hiyori."

A silent moment passed of Shinji kneeling next to Hiyori, hoping she could gain control of herself. To his disappointment, she raised a hand over her mouth as she began to cough, dry heaves that, fortunately, didn't last long. Concerned suspicion rose in Shinji when Hiyori pulled her hand away from her mouth, glanced at it, and her eyes widened a little as she balled her hand into a fist.

He caught a glimpse of red on her lips before she bowed her head, hiding her face from him.

"Hiyori, let me see your hand."

Hiyori gave no sign that she'd heard him, or if she did, she ignored him. Shinji took hold of her hand, not taking germs into consideration. She didn't resist as he gently uncurled her fingers, opening her hand to see scarlet staining her palm.

Against all his fears, Shinji wanted the best for Hiyori, so he said, "Hiyori, you need to go back to the hospital."

"No, I don't, I'm fine," she argued. "I'm not going back, so you can forget it."

Shinji wanted to debate the matter further, but he knew it was useless, especially after the dispute they'd just had. He couldn't force Hiyori to go, anyway. In any case, as she said her final word, she stood unsteadily and made her way back to the bedroom.

* * *

Shinji didn't follow her. He brought her water and her medicine, but otherwise left her alone. He knew she wanted space at the moment to clear her head. As for him, he needed time to think over what she'd said to him, and what he'd said to her, filled with a blend of remorse and distress.

A few hours passed, and Shinji eventually gathered the nerve to join Hiyori. He was surprised to find her still awake when he walked in the bedroom, despite the room being almost pitch black. Neither spoke a word as he changed into pajamas and took his place next to her.

He was met with no resistance as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her over against him. She rested her head on his chest; Shinji knew she was avoiding meeting his eyes. For awhile, silence reigned over the room. There was no light to disturb his vision, and all he could hear was the ringing in his ears, yet even as he closed his eyes, Shinji couldn't focus to drift into sleep.

Minutes of quiet passed, and Shinji quickly grew tired of the tension. "Hiyori, look at me, please."

She didn't move for a few seconds, but eventually complied with Shinji's request, lifting her head from his chest to look into his eyes. Shinji brushed her bangs away from her forehead, resting his hand on her neck. Then all at once, he said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said to you, you didn't need to hear any of that. However you approach your family about the matter, it's your business, not mine. And you're right, I shouldn't be keeping everything from our friends. I've thought about it, and whenever I can gather everyone together, I'll update them. And again, I'm sorry, Hiyori."

She just stared at him at first, her face blank. Shinji almost decided to pull her back into his arms and retire to sleep when she spoke. Her voice sounded thick, like something was blocking her throat. Shinji knew she'd been crying, and he felt terrible about it, but he listened as she said, "Do whatever you think you need to do. You're smarter than me, anyway. Besides, I'm sorry, too."

Shinji suppressed the shock from showing in his expression. He knew it took a lot for Hiyori to apologize for anything, it wasn't something she did often. There was no trace of pride in her voice as she continued, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, saying those hateful things to you, blaming you for everything. You were right when you said I should at least talk to my family. But I overreacted, and I'm sorry."

Hiyori had clearly accepted his apology, and he was more than happy to do the same for her. He smiled and said, "Overreacted, huh? You tend to do that a lot. But don't worry about it. It's no big deal, I understand."

"You're too nice, Shinji."

"You love it."

Hiyori gave a small noise that sounded like an attempt at a laugh, but her smirk was quickly erased as she said, "It's just..."

"It's just what?" Shinji asked.

Hiyori hesitated, a fearful glint in her eyes, before saying, "I'm just scared. I hate admitting it, but I am. What happened last week when Lisa took me to the hospital, it made me realize that you can't always be around for me, so I took it out on you. I was only scared of what might happen; you know, that could have been it, the end..."

Shinji pulled her closer to him again. "Don't talk like that, Hiyori."

"Why?" she said. "You saw what happened today after the fight."

"I know," he said. "You're scared, it's perfectly okay to admit it. And I know you don't like it, but I need to call Unohana tomorrow, tell her what happened earlier, set an appointment."

Hiyori sighed again. "Yeah, I guess you do."

Shinji kissed the top of her head. "Time for sleep, Hiyori."

"Good night, Shinji."

"'Night, Hiyori."

* * *

**Not my best, but I'm mostly happy with it. I wanted to write a different, more serious side of their relationship. And yay for Shunsui and Lisa :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**thank you for the reviews from Bree Avalon, Shimmerbreeze, Newjug, deadpoolhulk, and AniMesXVIII.**

* * *

_The days following the argument were a rough road for Shinji and Hiyori._

_After spending hours upon hours rehearsing what he would say, Shinji kept his word to Hiyori, gathering Lisa, Mashiro, Kensei, Love, Rose, and Hachi to report about Hiyori's health. He told them about Lisa taking Hiyori to the hospital, Shinji taking Hiyori to the park, Hiyori's coughing fits, the nausea, the headaches, the fever. He explained his reasons for withholding the truth from them, and promised that from here on, he'd be more honest with them._

_He didn't get the reaction he predicted; he'd expected anger, outrage, but it was quite the opposite._

_Mashiro threw the fit Shinji had known she would, prompting Kensei to drag her out of the room for a short talk; when she returned with him a few minutes later, she was much calmer._

_Kensei's response was the most surprising; he didn't fully accept Shinji's decision, especially with it having been done without Hiyori knowing, but there was otherwise no hint of his usual bad temper on his face._

_Love and Rose both shrugged it off as no big deal, understanding the reason Shinji had made the choice he had; they even mentioned it seemed like a good idea for one of their manga and music projects._

_Hachi claimed that, as a former medical student and current medical teacher, he had known all along, being able to read the signs Hiyori had displayed and noticing that she seemed a little different every time he saw her, both by her physical state and personality._

_All in all, Shinji breathed a sigh of relief that he'd gotten that off his chest, and though she didn't show it, Hiyori was grateful to him for revealing the truth._

_Meanwhile, however, she remained in a state of depression. She wasn't ignoring Shinji's existence anymore, and she had forgiven him after their argument, but she still was in no mood for any verbal communication. Where she'd once looked forward to the prospect of going outside or leaving the house, she now refused to attend her next business meeting, calling in sick instead. She was still so easily agitated that Shinji had finally taken to guarding what he said around her. She wasn't sleeping much, either; when Shinji asked why, she told him her mind was just too busy to clear, but he knew better._

_He hadn't expected that one hospital visit with Lisa to affect her this deeply, even after she'd already told him that it scared her. So he did what Unohana had advised and called her every few hours to make sure she was okay. Instead of assuming she was already sleeping, he checked in on her the minute he arrived home from work. He was there for her as he always was, and though he didn't pry, he tried a few times to convince her to talk to him. There were times he considered consulting a counselor, but decided against it; he knew Hiyori wouldn't agree to something like that._

_Despite all this, though, she was determined to attend Lisa's wedding as maid of honor. Unohana assured them that, as long as Hiyori took her medicine and didn't strain herself, she'd be fine to do so._

* * *

Shinji had been awake for nearly an hour, and still hadn't bothered to get up.

It was strange, because even on his days off, he would pull himself up out of bed almost as soon as he woke and find something to do. It was a habit he'd fallen into years ago, when he'd still been a womanizer, leaving before whatever random girl awoke. Now, however, he was exhausted.

Not that he could help it much. Yesterday had been a long day, helping to prepare, then attend Lisa's and Shunsui's wedding (which was held at the home of Shunsui's best friend and best man Jushiro Ukitake). He was happy with the way things turned out, though; the vows the lovely couple had taken were sealed with a kiss, the event had gone uninterrupted, and even Hiyori had mentioned she had enjoyed being the maid of honor.

Speaking of Hiyori, he looked down at the woman mentioned to see that she was still fast asleep. He remembered when they returned home last night that, almost as soon as they walked through the door, she had collapsed on the couch and passed out. She'd refused to move from her place, she was so tired, so Shinji had picked her up and carried her down the hall to the bedroom. She'd barely woken again as Shinji slipped her out of the dress she'd worn to the wedding in exchange for her more comfortable and preferrable shorts and t-shirt. He expected her to sleep through half the day.

Which wasn't exactly a bad thing. Hiyori needed the rest, and she was most at peace when she was asleep. She was curled up against him, hair unruly as it always was, face relaxed, no trace of a scowl visible. There were a few small bruises scattered around her neck and face, but that didn't hinder how beautiful she was to him.

These thoughts suddenly reminded him of his mission, a special mission he'd asked Lisa to help him with.

With a stretch and a sigh, Shinji sat up and pulled himself to his feet. More so than in the afternoons arriving home from work, he made sure to stay quiet to avoid waking Hiyori. All he needed to do was get dressed and grab a quick bite to eat, and he was set to go.

Hiyori knew he was leaving, but she didn't know where he was going. All he'd told her was that he had things to take care of, and no matter how much she interrogated him about it, no matter how many guesses she'd made to try to drag the answer out of him, he wouldn't tell her, only smirking and saying that it was a surprise. Still, he left a note for her on the nightstand, writing, '_Went out for those errands I told you about. Anymore guesses as to what it is? :) Anyway, have fun with Love and Rose, and I'll be back in a few hours. Take care._'

Once that was done, Shinji called Love and Rose to make sure they were still coming over, to which they answered an affirmative. He waited for them to arrive, and once they were settled in with brief instructions on how to look after Hiyori, he kissed her goodbye and took his leave.

His destination wasn't far from the apartment, so he walked there instead of driving. The weather was sort of nice, much like yesterday's: cloudy with no rain and a gentle breeze. Shinji found it to be relaxing. He was tempted to go back and bring Hiyori so that she could get a bit of fresh air, but he immediately discarded that thought. She needed to rest, and besides that, what he was doing today had to be a surprise for her.

When he made it to his destination, he found Lisa waiting for him outside. Despite the fact that she often wore skirts, she looked happy to be out of her wedding gown, adorned in shorts and a dark dressy shirt instead. Shinji noticed she had that new marriage glow as he approached her and said, "'Morning, Lisa."

"Shinji," she answered with a nod.

He grinned now and asked, "Have you and Shunsui done it yet? Last night was your wedding night, after all."

Lisa smirked. "I'm fine, thanks for asking. And if you must know, not yet. Yesterday was tiring, and it was late when everyone had left. Too late to be thinking about that."

Shinji said, "Sure."

Lisa shrugged. "Well, anyway, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Lisa turned to go into the shop they stood in front of, and Shinji followed. Inside, all the walls, floors, and counters were painted white, but it wasn't quite bright enough to blind. The interior of the building was small, but comfortable, and just big enough to avoid crowding. Shinji noticed the glass cases, rows upon rows of jewelry: necklaces, bracelets, rings. For some reason, he felt nervous, but he tried to ignore it as Lisa led him to the saleslady, who greeted them warmly.

"What can I do for you?" she asked.

"Engagement ring," Lisa said simply.

The clerk smiled. "Finally ready to tie the knot?"

Lisa laughed. "No, you misunderstand. I'm already married, just yesterday, actually. My friend here wants to finalize everything with his girl."

"Well, congratulations," the saleslady said, then she turned to Shinji. "Anything specific you're looking for?"

Shinji thought about that for a moment. "Something feminine, but also fitting for a tomboy. She wouldn't like anything too bright or girly. Her birthstone is the sardonyx." He paused before saying, "I'm not sure whether or not this is relevant, but there's another thing - she has cancer."

The clerk had a strange look in her eyes at his last words; Shinji guessed one of her own loved ones had or had once had the same illness as Hiyori. Her smile was empathetic as she said, "I just might be able to help you."

* * *

_Later after the wedding, well into the evening, most of the guests had gone home; only a few remained, including Lisa and her closest friends, a few of Shunsui's and Jushiro's friends, and Hiyori's family. It was mostly quiet, the only noticeable noise coming from the chatting guests and faint music in the backyard._

_Shinji left Hiyori with Mashiro and Kensei, before making his way through the house to meet Lisa. It didn't take him long to find her __in the frontyard, as was arranged between them. She stood in the driveway saying goodbye to her friend Nanao. As Nanao drove away, Lisa turned to see Shinji waiting for her on the porch, and she walked over to him._

_When she reached him, Shinji pulled her into a hug and said, "Congratulations. Again."_

_"Thanks, Shinji," she said, her voice a little muffled by his hold. A few seconds later, she gently pushed away from him and said, "I must admit, though, it feels weird to be married."_

_"But you love him, right?" Shinji asked._

_"Of course I do," Lisa said. "I wouldn't have married him otherwise. It's just...you know..."_

_"You're a lech like me?" he said._

_"Exactly," Lisa agreed. "I'll be honest, commitment is going to be strange to adjust to. Everything else is in the past, though, and I don't care how cliche that sounds. As for you, you've got Hiyori."_

_"Yeah," Shinji said softly. "She makes me forget all those other women."_

_"That's sweet, Shinji."_

_"I know, I'm quite a poet."_

_"She looked beautiful today, by the way. It's nice to see her in something other than shorts and sweatpants every now and then."_

_"I don't know what Hiyori you're talking about, she's always beautiful."_

_Lisa laughed. "I know she is. Don't get defensive. Now, what was it you called me out here to ask me?"_

_Shinji hesitated to answer; Lisa was the only person he'd thought of to assist him with this, but he still felt anxious about the matter. He didn't even know why, since it was something he was positive he wanted to do, and something he'd probably never do again. He wasn't even quite ready to put his plan into motion right away - he'd probably end up waiting another few days or weeks - but taking steps towards it wouldn't hurt._

_He couldn't delay too long, however. Time was running out. He wasn't even sure just how much longer he really had._

_Lisa had been waiting patiently for him to speak, and when he did, he said "I need you to help me find a ring."_

_She had a knowing look on her face, but she still asked, "What for?"_

_He took a deep breath. "I want to ask Hiyori to marry me."_


	10. Chapter 10

**Writer's block is a pain; I started out with this chapter and had no clue where to go with it, how to keep it going, how to reach the end, so I had to go back through the previous nine chapters, and I was able to find a few ideas.**

**I'm also guilty of spending too much time re-reading the Harry Potter series (again) (if you haven't read them, I recommend it).**

**Since my last update (4-27-13), I had two weeks left of high school, so I wanted to focus on raising my grades as much as possible before the seniors were let out. Then there was graduation to prepare for. ****Now this summer I'll be getting ready for college.**

**So there are my reasons (and excuses) for not updating in almost two months. But I did write whenever I had time, and will continue to do so, and this story will not be forgotten or go unfinished.**

**so thank you to Bree Avalon, Shimmerbreeze, deadpoolhulk, metsfan101, and the guest reviewer 'PS' for the reviews. You're all so wonderful. :)**

* * *

Hiyori hated mornings. She hated the obnoxious brightness of the summer sun. She hated how she felt so fatigued no matter how much rest she got. She hated knowing that there was another day to live, but that she wasn't even sure she'd make it the full twenty-four hours. Most of all, she hated how silent the house became after Shinji left for work.

Of course, it was almost always quiet, even when he was here. She and Shinji were the only ones who lived here, and recently, they weren't interacting much. Neither watched television regularly, so unless one of them had their music playing, the lull became more noticeable. They weren't the type of couple who felt they needed to talk every second they were together, but there was no doubt some sort of tension between them. Hiyori couldn't describe it, she didn't know what to do about it, and it was uncomfortable just to be in the same room as him.

She wondered if this was the reason he'd left so early on this Saturday morning. It couldn't be for work, so she assumed he had some sort of errands to take care of. Still, she wouldn't be surprised if he had gone just to get away from the stifling environment of their apartment. She expelled that thought right away; if Shinji had a problem, he would talk through it with her, not act like it wasn't happening. They'd both learned that the hard way.

Why, then, had he left without waking her up and saying a word to her about where he was going?

Oh, right, he'd left a note.

She sat up and waited for her head to stop pounding before she reached over to the nightstand and picked up the letter.

_Hiyori, I went out for another errand. Sorry I'm so busy lately, but I'll be back in time to cook lunch for you. Breakfast is in the oven, staying warm. Let me take care of you without complaining for once :) See you soon._

Hiyori sighed; she wondered what kind of situation it was that had been calling him away from home so early on weekend mornings for the past almost month and a half. She knew it wasn't for work, Kisuke never asked any of his employees for an extra shift. So what was it Shinji was hiding from her? Hadn't they just settled something like that? No more secrets?

She considered asking Lisa. She just had a feeling the black-haired girl always knew what everyone around her was up to, even if she hadn't been informed directly. However, she knew Lisa probably wouldn't tell her anything. If Lisa knew what Shinji was doing, but Shinji hadn't told Hiyori himself, Lisa definitely would keep whatever it was confidential.

Which left her on her own to continue speculating, where the hell was he and what the hell was he doing?

She pondered several possibilities, some that worried her more than others.

Maybe it really was for work. Kisuke didn't request additional hours, but Shinji could have been nice enough to volunteer. Then again, that didn't fit with the time; he was only gone for three to four hours at a time, not long enough to work a full, or even half, shift. Besides, what reason would there be to hide that from her? It had to be something else.

He could be avoiding her, something she had done to him before, back when he'd first confessed his feelings for her. Was this some sort of revenge for the way she'd treated him? No, that seemed even more unlikely. Shinji wasn't the type to run away from trouble, or take vengeance for something so insignificant; he'd confront the issue straightforward, or just move on past it.

The worst case scenario was that Shinji either was preparing to end their relationship or was having an affair. After all, who honestly wanted to be with a girl who had cancer, a thought that had always tortured the back of her mind. There was also the fact that he was a former casanova; maybe he'd finally gotten bored of her, and was looking for another woman to satisfy him. Why had she been foolish enough to believe that she was different from all the others in Shinji's eyes?

She told herself she was being ridiculous, panicking over nothing, only reflecting on her own low self-esteem. Shinji loved her, cared about her more than anything else, was loyal to her without wavering, she knew it. If he had only been after her for physical fulfillment, he would have left her years ago after their first time together in intimacy. If she was just like every other woman he'd been with, he would have quit on her the minute she was diagnosed with cancer and left her to deal with it on her own. Instead, he had remained by her side to support her, been there for her whenever she needed him, worked himself to near mental exhaustion to pay for not only the monthly expenses, but her medicine as well.

Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to happen, and she was going to confront him as soon as he returned, whenever that would be.

For now, though, she felt she needed some sort of confidant, and it would not be Lisa.

She picked up her cellphone, scrolled through the contacts, and dialed the number of the only other person she could think of.

* * *

"So how are things here, Hiyori?" Kisuke asked from where he sat at the far end of the couch.

"Okay. What about you?" Hiyori said from her seat closest to the door.

"Tired," he replied with a yawn. "I could really use a nap."

Unwilling to confide in Lisa, Hiyori had called Kisuke instead. She'd regretted asking him to come over the second she hung up the phone, feeling that she was intruding on his time with Yoruichi and the baby she was carrying. There must have been something in her tone, however, because he'd agreed to visit right away. He didn't seem bothered by it, anyway.

She scoffed at his words. "You sound like Shunsui. Lisa says he's always wanting to do nothing but sleep."

"Sounds like a cool guy," Kisuke remarked. "He's got the right idea."

Hiyori sighed, annoyed, so Kisuke hastily asked, "Anyway, how's Shinji?"

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "Fine, I guess."

Kisuke looked around towards the hall. "Where is he, anyway?"

Hiyori stiffened. "I don't know."

Kisuke immediately took notice of her body language. "You alright, Hiyori?"

She considered putting up her usual tough front, making up some excuse, but decided against it. She'd been concealing everything long enough, and it was about time she came clean to Kisuke about her health as well. She hadn't called him for nothing. "No, not really."

His face was concerned, but he made no move to get closer to Hiyori to comfort her. He was one of the few who could hug her without being attacked, but she was still generally better consoled at a distance. "You want to talk about it?"

Hiyori hesitated, not accustomed to verbally expressing her emotions, but forced herself to start. "Just...some things that have been going on."

Kisuke chuckled. "That sounds pretty vague. Care to elaborate?"

She was silent for another moment before saying, "It's me and Shinji. Things are kind of strained right now."

"How come?"

"I don't know. I'm not even sure how the whole thing started, but...it feels weird to be around him right now. I can't explain it, I just...I don't know where things went wrong."

"What makes you feel that way?"

"Because he's been gone every weekend morning for weeks now, since Lisa's wedding."

"...And?"

Hiyori gave another irritated sigh, and her voice was exasperated. "He's up to something, and he won't tell me what it is. He gets up too early for me to say goodbye, and he's gone until lunchtime. He writes a note every morning before he leaves, but he's careful about it; he mentions errands, but never gives away a clue as to where he is."

Kisuke remained unfazed. "Why so worried? Maybe he's busy with work or something of the like."

Hiyori still looked skeptical. "Have you given him any extra assignments? Or heard that he's been at the workplace outside his shift?"

"...Well, no, or I would've heard about it from Sosuke, if not one or two others."

"Why would he need to hide that, anyway?" Hiyori asked.

"Yeah, you're right," Kisuke agreed. "It's not work."

"So that rules out that theory..." Hiyori mumbled.

"Theory?" Kisuke inquired.

"Just my ideas of where he's been," she said dismissively.

"And what would they be?"

"...It's nothing."

"Hiyori. I'm sure you didn't request my presence for no reason."

His tone was uncharacteristically stern. Hiyori, agitated now, just decided to give her views then, reminding herself a second time that she had indeed invited him over for a reason. "Well, one says that he's avoiding me, since we've barely spoken in almost a month. Not since we had a fight. I pretty much abandoned that idea, though, because that doesn't seem like something he would do."

Kisuke didn't need to ask for clarification to know that she didn't mean one of their regular small arguments. "What did you fight about?"

"I'll get to that later," Hiyori said. "My other theory is that...well...he may be...possibly having an affair."

Kisuke's expression was nothing short of incredulous. "What in the world would make you think that, Hiyori?"

She felt her face turning red; Kisuke could see the despondency, the near misery, just barely concealed by a scowl. "I don't know, maybe because he's acting so secretive. There's also the fact he had no control over himself for years, sleeping with any girl in our graduating class who was willing, so who's to say he won't revert back to that? And let's be honest, Kisuke, I'm not exactly girlfriend of the year, and I think he'd be much happier without me."

Kisuke opened his mouth to speak, but Hiyori wasn't finished, appearing to be talking more to herself than to her adoptive father. "He's had to sacrifice so much because of me, like his social life and his humor. He has to deal with me being sick, and he can't do anything about it. And I've given him nothing in return, because there's no way I can, not with the condition I'm in. I just...I can't figure out how or why he stands for it all. I keep thinking he's out looking for another woman, because I'm not worth it."

"Shinji thinks you are," Kisuke said simply.

Hiyori jumped, like she'd forgotten he was there. "He thinks I'm what?"

"Worth it," Kisuke said. "Hiyori, I know you've been through a lot to make you cynical and insecure, but you can't keep putting yourself down like this."

"I'm not-" she tried to protest.

"If Shinji really felt the way you think he does or should, would he still be with you?" Kisuke said, and was satisfied when she seemed to have nothing to say to counter his words. "Don't think so little of him, or yourself. It won't help anything."

Hiyori stared down at her hands, feeling ashamed and unable to reply. Kisuke continued, "You think he's lost his humor, but I think it's quite the opposite. As far as I've observed, he's still got plenty of laughs. He keeps the office entertained. And I know he had a reputation for being a ladies man in the past, but those days are over, and you know that. You're just jumping to the worst conclusions."

Hiyori still didn't say anything, so Kisuke proceeded, "As for not being, as you said, girlfriend of the year, don't worry about that. No one's perfect, not even Yoruichi, as much as I like to think she is. Besides, perfection is boring, and if it existed, there'd be no more to life. That's what Mayuri says, anyway."

Hiyori forced a small smile despite her dislike of Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Her smile disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared as she concluded, "And I'm sick, Kisuke. Everyone seems to feel sorry for me because I'm the one with the cancer, but Shinji doesn't have it any easier looking after me. He shouldn't have to do that."

Kisuke considered his next words carefully before speaking; he needed to get a point across to his oldest daughter without offending or sounding condescending to her.

"Hiyori, do you know why Shinji works so hard to take care of you?"

"Yeah, I know. Because he loves me. Lisa already told me that."

"Well, there's that, and don't ever doubt it. That's only part of it, though. The other half is that you're not just his best friend and girlfriend, but you're also his partner."

Hiyori finally looked up, her attention fully on him now. "What do you mean?"

Kisuke held back a smirk. "Think about it. Friends come and go in and out of your life, and with the majority of them, you'll drift apart and forget each other. Shinji, however, has been with you since childhood, when he immediately set out to be your friend because, according to him, no one else seemed interested because you were a loner. You were stubborn, he says, but he was persistent, wasn't he?"

Hiyori nodded, smiling in spite of herself at the memory of a much younger Shinij and herself. Kisuke resumed, "He's always been there for you, hasn't he? When you had a problem, you were pretty good at hiding it, to where not even Lisa, Yoruichi, or I could see it. Shinji, though, was always able to see right through you. He knows you, understands you, has you all figured out, doesn't he?"

There was a time in which that trait of Shinji's would have infuriated Hiyori, but now she was thankful for it. Kisuke seemed to know this as he said, "So once you made a romantic relationship out of your friendship, that's when that partnership I mentioned began. At some point, maybe years later, whether married, engaged, or just strongly committed, being that close to someone isn't just understanding each other, appreciating each other for who you are, and being so comfortable with each other that you finally settle down into intimacy. You give half your life to that person, like I've given half my life to Yoruichi, and she's done the same for me. You see what I'm saying?"

Hiyori nodded, still unwilling to speak. Kisuke carried on, "I'm not saying he's particularly obligated, because I know you're still perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, but at this point, he feels it's his responsibility to lend you a hand. You'd do the same for him if the roles were switched, wouldn't you? So you shouldn't take that for granted, but appreciate it, and just trust that Shinji is loyal and knows what he's doing."

Hiyori had no response to everything Kisuke had said; he didn't need one, knowing she'd gotten the message. He finished his lecture by saying, "Shinji loves you; he's proven that many times, so there's no reason to question it. You love him, too, don't you?"

She nodded, but said, "He just...never tells me he loves me."

"Does he really need to?"

Hiyori was still for a few seconds, but eventually shook her head. Kisuke said, "You know he does, and there'll come a right time to say it. Are you happy with him?"

She nodded without hesitation, and Kisuke chose then to move on. "Good. If you weren't, I'd need to interfere as a father and find out what he's doing wrong. Anyway, now that I'm done being completely sappy, why don't you tell me what that fight was about."

Hiyori took a deep breath, quickly preparing herself for revealing the remainder of what she had to say. "Shinji was keeping secrets, and so was I."

"What kind of secrets?"

"Not the kind I'm currently suspecting. What happened was: Lisa called me on my cellphone, and told me to listen in on the home phone while she called Shinji. I found out he wasn't keeping our friends updated on my health like I thought - like he claimed - he was, so I blew up at him. Overreacted. Things were said by both of us that we didn't mean, and we apologized, so it's solved. But...like I said, we've been kind of rocky ever since Lisa took me to the hospital on an emergency call last month."

Kisuke was silent, so Hiyori said, "And that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Talk away," Kisuke said.

"Well, I don't know how much Shinji has told you - because he mentioned something about it - but...my health isn't the best right now. In fact...it's just starting to get worse."

She expected him to be angry, to chastise her for hiding a report of her declining health from him, to furiously demand why she'd done such a thing.

Instead, he allowed a moment of dramatic pause before he said, "I know all that."

Hiyori was speechless for several seconds. "What? What do you mean, you know all that? Know what?"

"As you said, Shinji told me everything," Kisuke said, holding back laughter at the surprised expression on Hiyori's face. "You hardly call me, see, so Shinji keeps me well-informed at the office. Which means Yoruichi, Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu know it all, too, although Ururu has kindly asked us all not to talk about it around you."

Hiyori suddenly felt like slapping herself; she should have realized that if she could truly talk to any of her loved ones about cancer, it was Ururu.

"Hey, don't feel bad," Kisuke insisted, taking notice of her changing countenance. "We understand why you didn't tell us. You didn't want us to worry, you didn't want to stress Yoruichi while she's pregnant, and-"

"Wait a minute," Hiyori said. "Shinji told me he was keeping the truth from you, too."

"It's just as I said," Kisuke reasoned. "Ururu asked us to keep quiet about it. She knows how you feel. You should talk to her sometime. The next time I visit, I'll make sure to bring her along."

Hiyori sighed. "Yeah, alright."

"Anything else you want to discuss?"

Hiyori wavered a moment before she said, "I don't know, Kisuke. I just...sometimes I feel like this entire cancer situation is causing me and Shinji to fall apart."

Kisuke nodded in understanding, as the circumstances had caused a small strain in his own marriage. "Have you talked to Shinji about everything on your mind?"

She shook her head. "Most of the time, I try to act like nothing's different."

"I get that, but from what's been said here this morning, it sounds like you and Shinji need to work on your communication," Kisuke said. "You love him, and he loves you. He's a fairly calm, empathetic person. Tell him anything, he'll understand, listen without judging, give you advice if you need it. You can't have a good relationship of any kind without proper communication. So whenever he gets back, I'm going to take my leave, and you sit him down and have a nice chat with him."

"Right. I'll do that."

"You must really be feeling down, Hiyori," Kisuke observed. "You're being awfully agreeable."

She smiled again before finally deciding to change the subject. "How's Yoruichi?"

"Fine," Kisuke said, following along. "Getting bigger and bigger little-by-little every day. I was stupid enough to make a comment about...well, a certain physical side effect of pregnancy some time last week, and I got a lecture and an almost-broken nose. Must be those new hormones. Usually she'd laugh at my attempts at flirting."

She shook her head reproachfully, but gave a small smile at Kisuke's frivolity. "Tessai?"

"He's taken on the job of preparing the nursery. I told him it wasn't necessary, that Yoruichi and I could handle it, but he told us to consider it his baby shower and congratulations gift. To be honest, I don't really mind. Less work for me."

"Lazy. What about Jinta and Ururu?"

"I believe Jinta has a girlfriend, though I haven't found out who she is. He never talks about her, but I can tell he brings a girl over along with his friends when Yoruichi and I aren't home. As for Ururu, she's in her final year of high school, we're so proud! She still can't decide what she wants to do as a career, though."

Hiyori and Kisuke spent awhile talking about whatever came to mind after; however, it wasn't much longer before Hiyori heard a key turning in the lock, and a few seconds later, the knob turned and the door swung open to reveal Shinji standing in the doorway. He looked tired from being up so early, light grey shadows under his eyes, but otherwise displayed no signs of fatigue. He appeared surprised at Kisuke's presence, but didn't question it. He could only guess why the other man was here.

"Kisuke, good to see you," Shinji said, closing the door and stepping over to Kisuke to shake hands with him. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine," Kisuke said. "Just paying Hiyori a visit. It was a little too quiet here for her liking, so I thought it was a good time for us to catch up since I'm not working today."

"Sounds nice," Shinji replied, and without so much as glancing at Hiyori, he added, "I know she's been meaning to talk to you for awhile."

Hiyori restrained herself from jumping to her feet and punching him, furious that he was speaking about her in such a manner as if she wasn't even there. He hadn't spared her more than one look since he walked in, only taking full notice of Kisuke. Had it been a better day for her, had she the energy, Shinji would have found himself being attacked and at her mercy.

As Shinji and Kisuke talked for a few minutes, Hiyori didn't say a word, thinking over everything Kisuke had told her during their conversation. He had said she and Shinji needed to work on their communication, but how could they do that if he was going to act like she wasn't just inches from him? Shouldn't he have said hello to her, asked her how she was, made sure she was okay? She supposed he assumed she was just fine since she was with Kisuke.

Then Kisuke stood up to leave, bidding Shinji a good afternoon. As he walked towards the door, he stopped and leaned over to hug Hiyori goodbye. She wrapped her arms around him in return, and he mumbled, "If you need anything, call me. Let me know how that talk with Shinji goes."

Once Kisuke was gone, silence fell throughout the house. All Hiyori could hear was the hum of the refrigerator, the ringing in her ears, and Shinji's muffled footsteps on the carpet as he moved to sit down next to her. She didn't move any closer to or further away from him, suppressing a discouraged sigh. Now that the moment of truth was here, she suddenly didn't really have a clue what she wanted to say to him (beyond asking where he'd been).

Still, she'd been holding it all in enough. Kisuke was right; if she wanted to solve anything, it wouldn't help keeping her silence. She'd have to say something.

She and Shinji both tried to speak at the same time.

He gave a humorless laugh. "You go first."

She didn't need telling twice, trying to keep the accusation out of her voice. "Where have you been?"

She wasn't as successful as she'd hoped; the allegation must have shown, not in her tone but in her expression, because Shinji looked mildly offended. "I've been out, running errands. Like I told you."

"What errands?"

"You know errands: things that need to be done for everyday living."

Hiyori fought to keep her temper under control. "Cut it out, Shinji. I just want to know where you've been, it's not a difficult question to answer."

Shinji's eyes seemed to slightly darken. "You sound pretty accusatory."

She couldn't stop her voice from rising a little now, impatience settling in. "I'm not trying to, but you've been disappearing for no apparent reason every weekend morning for the past month, and you won't tell me where you're going. If it was me, wouldn't you feel suspicious?"

"Maybe. If it were you, I wouldn't interrogate you about it. I'd leave you to it, assuming and trusting that whatever it is, is for the best."

"I'm not interrogating you, but surely whatever you're doing doesn't have to be kept hidden from me."

"It does."

Hiyori felt her heart sink, felt as if she were going to be sick. No, this couldn't be. The stupid bastard had to be joking, as cruel a joke as it was, and she had to struggle not to show her anxiety.

"Why? What is it you're doing? I need to know, I keep thinking you're-"

She broke off and looked away, taking a deep breath to try to calm herself. Shinji's expression and voice relaxed as he immediately realized what she was trying to say. "Hiyori, don't tell me you're implying what I think you are."

She couldn't speak or look at him, her eyes burning, despite how much she willed herself not to present her distress. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shinji shift to move closer to her. She didn't resist as he gently took her face in his hands and turned her to face him again. She didn't meet his eyes until he said softly, "Hiyori, look at me."

She did so reluctantly, still barely withholding tears. One lone rebel drop escaped and trailed down her face; Shinji gently brushed it away. "Hiyori, you don't honestly think I'm cheating on you."

She didn't answer, but he didn't really need her to. He sighed and pulled her into his arms. He knew she still wasn't all-out crying (yet), but he could feel her trembling a little as he held her.

"Hiyori, I'm not going to ask why you're really thinking that, but I promise that is far from what's actually going on."

"Then why can't you just tell me?"

"I guess I'll have to, to calm you down, won't I?"

He was overall keeping his cool, but she didn't miss the underlying hurt in his voice that she hadn't trusted him. Part of her felt guilty for it, but another felt he deserved it. Either way, she didn't respond, waiting for him to go on.

"First, I'm definitely not cheating on you. No affair, no mistress, whatever term you want to use. I'm only with you, and you should know that by now."

Hiyori tried to break in. "I know, I just thought-"

"I know what you thought," and though she could still detect the disappointment, his voice was still as calm as ever. "But Hiyori...you have to understand, I'm not Kirio. I'm not leaving you for any reason. Okay?"

Hiyori could think of absolutely nothing to say, so Shinji, aware of the affect of his words, finished, "I'll be here as long as you want or need me. So if you want me to clear out, I will if it makes you happy."

Hiyori surprised herself by quietly laughing; Shinji did so as well before saying, "But as long as you'll have me, I'm not going anywhere. That's a solid promise."

"Okay," Hiyori said, her remorse growing, but relieved that he wasn't especially angry with her. "I understand."

"There's two other things," he continued after a moment of silence. "Something I'm going to tell you and something I'm going to ask you. Both are very important, and will explain where I've been, so you can't get pissed off or overreact, as you're well-known to do."

Confident that she was no longer about to burst into tears, Hiyori lifted her head from Shinji's chest. "Depends on what you have to say."

"No deal," Shinji said, shaking his head. "Because trust me, you're going to like it. Love it, actually."

Hiyori sighed. "Then I don't see why I would get pissed off or overreact, but fine; what is it?"

Shinji suddenly looked nervous, despite his mostly collected demeanor. "Well, it's something I've wanted to say for awhile, but there was never really a right time. It's also something I should have said a long time ago. Something I've said to other girls before without thinking twice about it, but with you I couldn't because for once I actually mean it."

As he was saying this, Hiyori felt her heart begin to beat faster. She knew what he was going to say. Earlier, she had wanted more than anything for him to say it, but now she wasn't entirely sure she was ready to hear it. "Shinji, don't-"

"I love you, Hiyori."

She could have sworn her heart skipped a few beats, felt like all the breath had been stolen from her lungs, felt like the weight of the world was crushing her but being lifted away at the same time, felt like she was soaring and drowning all at once, safe and exposed, beautiful but undesirable.

_Is this what it's supposed to feel like_?

She was barely aware of Shinji's hands on her face again, his lips against her forehead, his mumbled, "You don't believe me."

She took a deep breath, pushing aside her shock. "I do believe you, I just never expected to hear that."

"I feel like an ass for never saying it before now."

"I wasn't exactly in a rush, either. Besides, maybe that's a good thing. Then I'm more sure you really mean it when you do finally say it."

Shinji pulled away from her to respond, but she was faster, saying, "I love you, too."

He looked taken aback for a moment, then smiled softly. "I guess you've wanted to say that for awhile, too, huh?"

She didn't nod or say yes, but again, Shinji didn't need her to. He took a moment to just look at her: at her expression that was much more serene than when he'd first walked in, at her blonde hair that was unruly yet soft when it was let free from the hairbands, at her brown eyes and the fang. She wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but she was certainly beautiful. It was then that he remembered he had one other thing to do.

"There's still something I need to ask you."

"What is it?"

Once again, Shinji looked apprehensive, though it seemed worse this time. He wouldn't meet her eyes, and as he removed his hands from her face and pushed them into his pockets, she noticed that his fingers were shaking. She almost asked what was wrong, but didn't want to rush or pressure him, so she waited unusually patiently for him to speak.

He barely glanced at her before looking away again. "Well, like I said, you can't get pissed off or overreact, and it's something I've wanted to ask for a few years. Once I've asked you, then you should be able to guess where I've been disappearing to."

Hiyori silently watched as Shinji pulled something from his pocket; it must have been fairly small, because he was able to keep it hidden, curled in the palm of his hand. She was curious, but she still kept the questions to herself.

"Okay, so...my question, what I wanted to ask. Right."

By now, Hiyori was mentally fighting to control her curiosity, and the barrage of questions of her own waiting on the tip of her tongue. What was in his hand? What kind of question would make her angry or drive her to blow things out of proportion? Why did he seem so edgy and restless? Was his question that important?

"Well, Hiyori, this is going to sound incredibly cliche, but you know what? I really don't care."

Before she could lose her temper and begin interrogating him again, Shinji kept going. "So, Hiyori Sarugaki, I have a very important question to ask you-"

"You've said that a million times already," she interrupted. "Get on with it, moron."

Shinji gave a smirk that lasted no more than a second before he unfolded his hand. Resting in his palm was a small, simple dark blue box. Hiyori felt her heart beat accelerate yet again; after all, she knew exactly what was in that box.

Shinji opened the box to reveal a classic gold band adorned with a tiny diamond. Nothing fancy, but nice all the same. Hiyori wanted to say something, but her voice was caught in her throat, and she felt that if she did speak, she would say something to ruin the moment.

"Hiyori Sarugaki, would you do me the honor of becoming Hiyori Hirako?"

Surprisingly, the emotions she felt as Shinji proposed to her were not as intense as when he'd told her he loved her. Her heart and lungs felt as if they were still straining to function, but she didn't feel as if the world were coming to an end. If there were a word to describe it, she'd probably use elated.

"Hiyori, are you still with me? I kind of need an answer, sweetheart."

She looked up into Shinji's face, at the man who had been her companion, best friend, and lover for almost twenty years. She couldn't imagine her life without him; as Kisuke had said, he was her partner. Her answer was clear; she did not even have to think about it.

"Yes, baldy, of course I'll marry you."

The band fit perfectly as Shinji took her hand in his and placed the ring around her left ring finger. "It's not as pretty as the wedding ring, but it'll work for now. Do you like it?"

She nodded without a word; Shinji understood what she was thinking and feeling, and he laughed. "Then why are you crying?"

She had hardly noticed it before now, but tears were steadily drifting down her face. As Shinji pulled her into his arms again, she said, "Idiot, girls cry when they're happy. Don't you know that?"

"I don't," he said. "I'm not a girl, and you're not exactly normal for a girl, either. As in you don't cry much. Anyway, does that tell you where I've been every morning?"

"You've been preparing the wedding," she answered, feeling ashamed again that she had thought any differently.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, but I didn't expect to be confronted," he explained.

She didn't respond for a few seconds. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about that, Shinji."

He quickly changed the topic to avoid another argument. "Are you hungry, monkey? I did say I would take care of lunch for you."

"Yeah, I guess," she said, grateful for the distraction. "I didn't eat breakfast."

"You didn't find it in the oven?" he asked.

There was a moment of awkward silence, in which Hiyori felt a blush spread over her face. "Well, I was kind of pissed off all morning, so...breakfast for lunch, I guess."

Shinji laughed quietly. "That bad, huh?" He leaned forward to kiss her. "I love you."

He knew she wasn't suddenly going to start saying it a hundred times a day, but in the moment, she said in return, "I love you, too."


End file.
